


Outtake Collection

by sparklepox (travelingpsycho)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Drabble Collection, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-05-15 04:34:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 27,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19288237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/travelingpsycho/pseuds/sparklepox
Summary: Prologues, epilogues, outtakes, and alternate versions for various fics of mine. WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS. READ WITH CAUTION.





	1. Easy After All 1

**Author's Note:**

> Like I'm sure many writers, I have many ideas that don't make it into fics. I've been writing some of these in my head for years, and I finally decided to write some of them down (along with some new ideas) to share. They'll vary from pretty short and/or PWP scenes to I hope more substantial things.
> 
> Most of these will include spoilers for the fic they're related to, and none of them will make sense if you haven't read the original fic. I'll be posting a mix of outtakes for different fics, so I'll link the relevant fic in each chapter. Please read the notes carefully if you don't want to be spoiled and/or confused when you haven't read a particular fic.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This first chapter is a mostly PWP outtake for [Easy After All](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3867514), a Baekchen fic, to make up for some of the things I glossed over in that fic. You could probably read it even if you haven't read (or have forgotten) the original, but it'll make much more sense in context.

They're nine days into the cruise and a week into sleeping together and Baekhyun's already lost count of how many times he's blown Jongdae, but definitely a few. He's not complaining; he likes a good dick in his mouth, and Jongdae's is pretty nice. He also likes getting Jongdae worked up, making him moan and scrabble at the bedsheets as Baekhyun's mouth works over him.

He doesn't really mind that blowjobs are kind of one-sided, since it gets him off too, especially when Jongdae's hand fists in his hair and he gets just a tiny bit rough. This time, though, he doesn't touch himself, so he's quite worked up by the time Jongdae comes with a very satisfying groan. As soon as he pulls off, he scrambles to his feet and dives into Jongdae's mouth, eager for more.

Jongdae kisses back for a while, but then he puts his hands on Baekhyun's chest and pushes him away. "Why not?" Baekhyun whines, making Jongdae laugh.

Jongdae looks so cute and innocent when he smiles that Baekhyun's caught off guard by him saying, "We can kiss later, but right now, you should teach me how to give blowjobs."

For a few seconds, all Baekhyun can do is stare, and then Jongdae's words really sink in and _fuck_ , he wants it. "Seriously?"

"Seriously." Now Jongdae looks a little shyer, and it's so cute Baekhyun can't take it, especially when they're talking about fucking _blowjobs_. "If I'm going to learn about having sex with men, that's a big part of it, right?"

"You don't have to," Baekhyun says, even as his brain screams at him _DON'T SAY THAT!_ "I mean, don't force yourself."

Jongdae shakes his head. "I want to. You're always so into it, which...I'm guessing isn't really typical, but I want to try anyway." He smiles, somewhere between smug and soft. "I want to make you feel good."

"You're weirdly enthusiastic about this for a guy who thought he was straight until about five minutes ago," Baekhyun says, mostly to distract from how much he likes that expression on Jongdae's face.

Now Jongdae rolls his eyes. "Oh, don't pretend you don't want it." Without waiting for a response, he manhandles Baekhyun around so he's got his back to the bed with Jongdae standing in front of him. Jongdae leans in for a kiss, then kneels at Baekhyun's feet. He looks up at Baekhyun, then straight ahead, and Baekhyun is torn between dying for him to get on with it and finding it incredibly endearing how Jongdae sort of quizzically studies his dick.

"Well, I guess we're not really starting from the beginning this time, but that's okay." Jongdae gives him one full stroke and Baekhyun rocks into it. He's really not in the mood for going slow, worked up as he is, but he'll do his best to be patient for Jongdae. "Are you going to say anything or do I have to figure it out for myself?"

Baekhyun swallows hard. It's not like he's embarrassed, but he's never actually given a blowjob lesson before and it feels a little weird. "Um, well, it can be nice to use your tongue at first, to work up to it." He's barely finished the sentence when Jongdae does exactly that, tongue dragging up the underside and over the head, and Baekhyun chokes. "I'm not sure you need to be taught."

Jongdae grins. "I mean, I've _gotten_ blowjobs before. I'm not totally clueless." He doesn't wait for Baekhyun to respond, getting in a few more licks. He laughs when Baekhyun's cock moves around and pokes him in the face before realizing on his own that he should hold it still, and Baekhyun is simultaneously charmed and incredibly turned on. "Do I just...?" Jongdae bobs his head forward slightly, mouth open to indicate what he's asking about.

"Yeah." Baekhyun shrugs. He's so used to it that he has to think about what to say to someone who isn't. "Just be careful going down too far. You don't want to gag."

"Got it." Jongdae seems a little hesitant and Baekhyun almost tells him that they can do something else, but then Jongdae is swallowing him down. The image of it, the knowledge that Jongdae's figuring out blowjobs just to blow _him_ turns Baekhyun on as much as the feeling.

It's kind of sloppy, pretty obvious that Jongdae's not too sure what he's doing, but it's not the worst Baekhyun has had either. He takes a deep breath so his voice won't shake embarrassingly and says, "Purse your lips tighter," then ruins it anyway by moaning when Jongdae follows his instructions. He moves slowly, but it's a nice feeling, and Baekhyun's already turned on enough that he doesn't think it'll take that much to get him off.

He lets Jongdae do his thing for a while, making enough noise to be clear that it's working for him but not so much that the neighbors can complain. After a while, his right hand drifts down Jongdae's cheek and strokes along his jaw and he feels Jongdae swallow, making him shudder. "That's good, but—" He breaks off to draw in a sharp breath as Jongdae dips forward awfully far. "Can you go a little faster?"

Jongdae pulls off to take a breath, but before Baekhyun can say anything, he's back at it, obediently moving faster. It feels so good that Baekhyun suddenly finds himself very close to coming, grinding out a "Fuck" as he tries to hold out a little longer. "Jongdae, I'm—I'm going to come, so...if you don't want to—I mean, I can—" Jongdae doesn't so much as pause and Baekhyun gasps, "Fuck, Jongdae, I can't—" before it hits him.

Jongdae pulls back so his mouth is just over the tip and uses his hand to stroke Baekhyun through it, which is somehow incredibly hot. He makes it almost through before he chokes and pulls back, the last bit of Baekhyun's come landing on the side of his mouth. Baekhyun feels a little bad for liking that, but only very little. 

He forgets that anyway in a few seconds when Jongdae stops coughing and looks up at him, wiping his mouth with his hand and then licking his lips in a way that's completely unfair, especially when he follows it up with a shy smile. "I guess I still have some things to work on." He gets to his feet and gives Baekhyun one lingering kiss. "What do you say?"

Baekhyun stares at Jongdae's very nice lips for a few seconds before responding eloquently, "I like your mouth."

Jongdae bursts out laughing. "I'll take that as a good sign." He looks so cute when he laughs, like there's no way he could have just been sucking Baekhyun off a minute ago—but he was, and oh, yes, Baekhyun thinks, this is very good.


	2. Try To Remember 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS FOR [Try To Remember.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1839664)   
> IF YOU HAVEN'T READ IT, TURN BACK NOW OR YOU'LL RUIN THE FIC FOR YOURSELF.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (See above re: spoilers.)
> 
> (It also will make no sense whatsoever if you haven't read Try To Remember.)
> 
> This takes place in part 22 (a.k.a. the canon part) of Try To Remember, after what was written in the fic. In which Minseok remembers difficult things, and Lu Han does too.
> 
>  **Warning:** discussion of past character death and mental illness

Lu Han startles awake in the darkness and doesn't know why until Minseok moves beside him, curling onto his side. "Minseok?" he asks quietly. Minseok doesn't answer, but he sniffles like maybe he's crying, and that's enough to make Lu Han reach to turn on the bedside lamp. It must be bad if Minseok's crying. He hopes he's mistaken, but with the light on, he can see tears on Minseok's cheek. "What's wrong?"

Reluctantly, Minseok rolls onto his back, looking up at Lu Han. He's crying hard, and although he wipes away the tears, new ones quickly replace them. "I had a dream," he says, choked up. "My sister died. We were on a trip together and she got so sick, and no one could do anything. She died in my arms and I couldn't save her."

He sounds so miserable that Lu Han gathers him up in a tight hug, and Minseok lets him. "There was a plague," he explains, not sure how much Minseok remembers outside of his sister's death. "A lot of people died. You were in Beijing and we met after that. You came to live in my apartment, since you couldn't get home."

"And what ruined it for us that time?" Minseok mutters darkly. 

Lu Han doesn't want to tell him, but Minseok will remember himself sooner or later. Maybe it's better to get it over with, when he's already upset anyway. "We died," he admits. "There was another plague, or maybe another wave of the first one, and we both got sick that time."

He's not expecting Minseok to laugh, however bitter it is. He pulls out of Lu Han's hold and wipes his eyes. At least he's stopped crying now, though he's still clearly having a hard time. "I don't know how you handled this on your own, remembering everything. If I didn't have you to talk to, I'd go crazy."

"I did," Lu Han says. Maybe now's not the time to tell Minseok, but it's the middle of the night and he doesn't think before he says it.

"What do you mean?" Minseok asks warily.

"I did go crazy. Not the first time, when I had dreams, but the second time when I remembered from the beginning. I didn't have anyone to talk to and I was fine for a while, but then it just hit me one day all of a sudden and I couldn't function anymore. I said I wanted to die to make it stop, so they put me in a psych ward."

Minseok frowns, clearly uncomfortable. "That's not going crazy, though."

Lu Han sighs, gathering himself. These are memories he really prefers not to dwell on, though they often find him in moments of weakness, but it's probably about time he told Minseok. "While I was in the psych ward," he reluctantly continues, "I saw you. I hadn't been able to find you online, so I thought maybe you didn't exist and I was imagining everything I remembered, but then I saw a nurse named Jin Xiumin, born and raised in Shanghai."

Minseok's frown deepens. "I don't remember that."

"No, you wouldn't. That's because he wasn't real."

Minseok's eyes go wide. "Do you mean...?"

"I think you really were never even born that time around. I wouldn't have met you no matter what. But the pressure of it all got to me and I hallucinated a version of you." Lu Han swallows hard. Despite the good memories of Minseok that he's made since, those memories of his hallucinated Xiumin tormenting him are still painfully clear. "A not very nice version of you," he adds, which is quite the understatement.

Minseok looks at him, no doubt reading what Lu Han isn't saying in his expression. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," Lu Han says. "You didn't even exist then."

"No, but there were other times when I did and I didn't remember, right? I'm sorry for those. I'm sorry you had to deal with so much without me."

Lu Han hugs Minseok again because it's easier than figuring out what to say. Of course there were times when he was frustrated with Minseok for not remembering, when it seemed so unfair that he was alone in struggling with his memories, but he doesn't want Minseok to feel guilty. It wasn't his choice, and besides, now that they both remember, he just wants them to be happy. "It doesn't matter," he finally says. "None of that matters anymore."

"No, it doesn't," Minseok agrees, bringing his arms up to hug Lu Han back. "I won't let you feel that way again."

There's a little part of Lu Han that's still afraid, after everything, but he lets himself believe. Xiumin always told him he'd never get his happy ending, but this time, they'll make it happen. As long as he can be happy with Minseok now, what happened before doesn't matter anymore.


	3. A Few Days 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is an outtake for [A Few Days](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1831561), featuring Junmyeon and kid!Minseok and kid!Jongdae.
> 
> This will basically spoil the ending of the original fic and won't make sense if you haven't read it, so proceed with caution.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (There will be spoilers below. This is your last warning.)
> 
> This takes place maybe a month or two after Junmyeon officially takes in Minseok, Jongdae and Jongin. In which Minseok has a hard time being a kid and Junmyeon does his best as a newbie parent.
> 
>  **Warning:** discussion of bullying

Junmyeon isn't particularly surprised when the boys' school calls him in the middle of the workday. Jongin had some trouble adjusting in the first few weeks, and while he's been doing much better since, some bumps along the road wouldn't be surprising. What does surprise Junmyeon is when the secretary says, "It's about Minseok."

"Minseok?" Junmyeon echoes, confused. He can't imagine Minseok getting upset enough to need to be picked up at school, or causing any kind of trouble. Even if he's sick, he probably wouldn't admit it. "Is something wrong?"

"He got in a fight with one of his classmates. He punched the other boy."

"He _what_?" That's especially hard to imagine, when Minseok is always so responsible. He rarely even raises his voice, so it's hard to believe he would get physically aggressive. "I'll be there as soon as possible." Whatever happened, he needs to talk to Minseok and get an explanation.

His boss isn't thrilled when he says he needs to leave, but he promises to finish his work from home. Part of him expects that sooner or later, given his new priorities, he's going to get fired, or at least encouraged to find a lower pressure job, but for now, he's doing the best he can.

Junmyeon arrives at the school office to find a woman yelling, which isn't a great start. "I expect some consequences!" She stops when she sees Junmyeon, turning her attention to him. "Is this your son?" she asks, gesturing toward Minseok. He's tense, looking down at the floor, but there's something stubborn about the clench of his jaw.

"Yes," Junmyeon answers, since there's no point in explaining their situation now. He walks over to Minseok and puts a hand on his shoulder. "What happened?"

The woman opens her mouth to yell some more, but stops when Minseok's teacher, Mr. Choi hurries into the office. "Thank you both for coming. I'm sorry for the trouble."

"What happened?" Junmyeon asks again.

"There was a fight during lunch. Minseok punched Kibum and then they continued until we got them apart. Kibum says that Minseok started it and Minseok won't say anything." He flashes Junmyeon an almost pleading look that makes Junmyeon think the teacher understands that Minseok wouldn't start a fight for no reason, even if he won't explain himself.

Junmyeon uses his hand on Minseok's shoulder to turn the boy to face him, but he still won't look up. "Why did you hit him, Minseok? It's not like you to hit someone." Minseok only presses his lips stubbornly together, clearly not willing to talk. If there's one thing Junmyeon's learned about his new charges, it's that they can be very stubborn when they want to be. He'll have to push later, but he won't get anywhere now.

Instead, he turns back to Mr. Choi and the angry mother and bows to them. "I'm very sorry for the trouble Minseok caused. I'll take him home and discuss this further."

"He'll need to apologize before we can allow him back in class," Mr. Choi says.

"I understand." Junmyeon bows again. He could grovel more, but he has a suspicion that once Minseok explains himself, he won't feel all that sorry. Instead, he takes Minseok's hand and leads him out of the office.

He waits until they get in the car to ask, "Are you going to tell me what happened? I know you wouldn't hit someone for no reason. I'm not mad at you, but I want to understand what happened."

"I'm not sorry," Minseok says gruffly.

"That's not the point. Why did you hit him?"

Junmyeon's focusing on the road, but he can see Minseok clench his hands into fists out of the corner of his eye. "He said things about Mom."

Trust Minseok to fight for someone else, not himself. "What kind of things?" he presses.

"He said she was..." Minseok shakes his head, but Junmyeon can guess, though he doesn't know what a ten-year-old boy is doing saying things like that. "And that she probably couldn't wait to get rid of us. That she probably never wanted any of us in the first place."

"You know that's not true, don't you?" Minseok shrugs. It's not hard to see why this boy's words upset him so much, hitting on his deepest fears that their mom abandoned them without caring. "I'm sure it's not," Junmyeon says firmly. "He shouldn't have said those things, and I understand why you were angry, but you can't hit people for saying bad things."

"He deserved it," Minseok insists.

"Maybe so, but hitting people won't change their minds, and it will get you in trouble. The only time you should ever be hitting someone is to defend someone who needs it. Do you understand?"

"I guess." Minseok doesn't sound very convinced, but that'll have to do.

"We'll go back tomorrow and you can apologize." He cuts off Minseok's protest to continue, "I don't care if you mean it. Think of it this way: if you get punished for this, he wins. Is that what you want?"

"No," Minseok reluctantly concedes.

"I'm sure everyone at school understands that it's not like you to start fights. You just need to apologize and not do it again, no matter what that kid or anyone else says. Okay?"

Minseok sighs, but Junmyeon believes him when he says, "I won't."

 

When they get home, Junmyeon sends Minseok to his room. He feels like he should be punishing Minseok for this, but Minseok is a good kid, responsible to a fault. He probably feels bad enough already for causing trouble, even if he thinks the punch was well-deserved (and it sounds like it was.) Instead, he texts his sister-in-law to tell her to send Jongdae and Jongin home instead of keeping them there for the afternoon. _Is everything okay?_ she asks. _I'll tell you tomorrow,_ he writes back.

Minseok stays in his room, and Junmyeon sits down at the kitchen table and works until Jongdae and Jongin arrive a few hours later. "Why are you home?" Jongdae asks curiously as he kicks off his shoes.

"I had to pick Minseok up at school," Junmyeon explains.

"What's wrong?" Jongin sounds worried.

"Nothing serious. You can ask him about it."

Jongdae and Jongin promptly march over to Minseok's door, and though they knock, they don't wait for Minseok's approval to barge in. Junmyeon is tempted to eavesdrop, but he leaves them to their conversation, going back to his work.

Minseok is subdued at dinner, but otherwise it's like any other evening. Jongin goes to bed early with only some token whining, and then Jongdae finishes getting ready, but when Minseok goes to take a bath, Jongdae comes out to the living room and sits at the table opposite Junmyeon. "What's up?" Jongdae's expression is serious, and it makes Junmyeon worried that the situation isn't as resolved as he thinks it is.

"Hyung asked me not to tell you."

Now Junmyeon is definitely worried. "It's great that you guys can trust each other with secrets, and I won't force you to tell me everything. But if you're worried about Minseok, you should talk to me. I can't help if I don't know what's wrong."

Jongdae frowns, but it only takes a few seconds for him to make up his mind. "Hyung is being bullied."

"He is?" Maybe Junmyeon should have realized there was more to today's incident than a few offhand comments, but it didn't occur to him.

Jongdae nods. "One of the girls in my class has a brother in hyung's class. She told me her brother said some people were picking on him."

"Why would they do that?" Minseok is quiet, well-mannered, not the type to draw attention to himself. In that, he hardly seems like a prime target for bullying, though being a new student could get him attention, not to mention being a foster child.

Now Jongdae frowns again, looking down at the table. "You know, with Mom, we moved around a lot, plus sometimes she needed help at home, so we didn't always go to school. Especially when Jongin was little, hyung stayed home to help her a lot. Now that we're going to school all the time...it's not so hard when you're seven, but there's a lot you're supposed to know when you're ten."

"Are you saying Minseok is having trouble with his schoolwork?" Now Junmyeon feels guilty. He should have thought about this, or at least noticed if Minseok was struggling.

"I told him he should talk to you, or to Soojin-ajumma, but he didn't want to bother you."

Jongdae looks worried, so Junmyeon makes a point to smile. "Thank you for telling me. I want to help you, and so does Soojin-noona, but we can't unless you talk to us when there's a problem. I hope you'll all get used to doing that." Jongdae's answering smile is a little hesitant, but it'll do. "Go to bed now. I'll talk to Minseok."

"Goodnight," Jongdae says, then heads off to bed.

 

Junmyeon waits until Minseok finishes his bath and goes into his room to get dressed. When he emerges again, Junmyeon says, "Minseok, come here for a minute." Minseok comes over and sits at the table, looking nervous. Junmyeon decides to get right to it. "I hear you're being bullied at school." 

"I told Jongdae not to tell you," Minseok mutters.

"I'm glad he did. You shouldn't hide things from me when there's a problem." It sounds a little harsh, and Minseok looks guilty, so he adds, "I don't want you to feel like you have to solve your problems by yourself. You should know you can count on me to help." It's not hard to guess that Minseok is used to not being able to rely on adults, to having to take care of himself and his brothers even when it was hard.

Minseok doesn't say anything, so Junmyeon asks, "Is the schoolwork really hard for you?" Minseok shrugs, which is answer enough. "It's okay if it is. I just need to know where you're at." Minseok mumbles something Junmyeon can't hear, so he asks, "What?"

"I'm stupid," Minseok repeats, eyes downcast.

"Of course you're not stupid!" Junmyeon feels that much guiltier that his cluelessness has left Minseok to feel like this. He definitely has some things to learn to when it comes to parenting. "Jongdae says you had to help your mom out a lot with Jongin and other things around the house." 

Minseok nods without looking up. "I bet nobody in your class could handle that kind of responsibility," Junmyeon tells him. "They probably won't learn how for years. So they'll have to catch up to you on that, and you'll have to catch up to them on math and reading and stuff."

Minseok still looks uncomfortable, so Junmyeon continues, "I can help you with your homework any time, and Soojin-noona is really smart so you can always ask her. We'll do whatever you need to get you caught up, okay? But don't let anyone tell you that you're stupid. Don't even tell yourself that."

That finally gets a bit of a smile from Minseok, to Junmyeon's relief. "And Minseok?" Minseok looks up, albeit somewhat reluctantly, and meets Junmyeon's eyes. "I need you to tell me if the bullying continues, okay? That's not something you should keep to yourself."

"I will," Minseok promises.

After Minseok goes to bed, Junmyeon sits at the kitchen table alone. He feels guilty that Minseok has been struggling without him noticing it, and he also feels a surge of affection for these boys who have gotten so used to taking care of themselves that they don't even know how to ask for help. It probably won't be easy to get them used to relying on him and other adults, but he hopes he can. Minseok especially deserves a chance to be a kid again, and to have the future open to him instead of being held back by too much responsibility for a ten-year-old. If Junmyeon can give him that, then all the worry it causes him will be worth it.


	4. Easy After All 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another outtake for [Easy After All](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3867514). (There will be many.) Basically PWP, but it will make much more sense if you've read the original fic.
> 
> In which Baekhyun is shameless and Jongdae is willing to try new things.
> 
> **Warning:** rimming

It's not easy to get privacy on the deck of a cruise ship, but it's a relatively cool and windy evening and most people have decided they're better off being indoors after dark. Baekhyun and Jongdae are taking advantage of that to not have to worry about being noisy or saying inappropriate things in front of people who might be offended.

Baekhyun is sprawled on a deck chair, and Jongdae was leaning against the rail facing him as they talked, but now he turns around, looking out over the ocean and up at the stars. Baekhyun could look at the stars too, but instead he looks at Jongdae, eyes raking down and up his body, and halfway back down again. 

"You have a nice ass," he comments. Maybe he should feel more self-conscious about saying that out of the blue, but that's not how Baekhyun works, not since he got comfortable with his gayness.

He doesn't know how Jongdae will take it, all things considered. He doesn't say anything right away, a long enough pause that Baekhyun gets a little nervous, but then Jongdae asks, sounding smug, "Do I?"

"Very nice," Baekhyun answers. Jongdae's pants are just tight enough to look good while still leaving something to the imagination, making Baekhyun want to take them off and investigate more closely.

Now Jongdae turns around and smirks at him. Baekhyun is kind of surprised, but he also really likes how Jongdae isn't shy about this. It makes him want to see just how far he can push, if he can make Jongdae blush or if nothing will embarrass him. "And what do you usually do with guys with nice asses?" Jongdae asks with a smirk.

That's a good indication that it'll take a lot more to make him blush, but Baekhyun is up for the challenge. "Let's go inside and I can show you," he says, smirking right back.

"All right," Jongdae says without hesitation.

Baekhyun's mind already starts racing as they head to his room, thinking about what he'd like to do to Jongdae's ass, and the rest of him too. They've had a few days together already for Jongdae to show that he's not squeamish about gay sex, but bottoming is a different story, especially for a mostly-straight guy. Baekhyun loves an adventure, though, and he can't resist the urge to push Jongdae to try new things.

Once they're in Baekhyun's room, Jongdae looks a little shyer, though somehow still smug at the same time. Baekhyun settles for kissing him first, though his hands go right to Jongdae's ass. It feels even nicer than it looks, and he enjoys the opportunity for groping. Jongdae kisses right back, though his hands stay higher on Baekhyun's body.

Their shirts come off first, and Baekhyun restrains himself for what he considers an admirably long time before he opens Jongdae's pants, loosening them enough that he can shove his hands down the back and grope Jongdae's ass directly. Jongdae makes a sound that Baekhyun thinks is laughter into the kiss but makes no effort to pull away. Only when Baekhyun's finger touches his rim does he go still, pulling away with a gasp that Baekhyun doesn't think is a bad thing.

Baekhyun meets Jongdae's eyes and sees them dark and a little nervous, but it doesn't seem like he minds what Baekhyun is doing to him. "Is this what you had in mind?" Jongdae's smile is a little shy again, and Baekhyun thinks that it's not fair for him to be so cute and hot at the same time.

"Not really." Baekhyun decides he might as well go for it; Jongdae hasn't said no to anything yet, after all. "I was thinking about eating you out."

Jongdae's eyes go wide. "Does that...? You mean...?" Baekhyun's hands are still down Jongdae's pants, and he answers the question by tracing his finger over Jongdae's rim again. "Fuck," is Jongdae's concise response. He takes a deep breath in and out and then says, "I don't know how that works, but sure. Go for it."

His words and the rough tone of his voice send a jolt right between Baekhyun's legs. How did he get so lucky as to find someone like Jongdae? He pulls his hands out of Jongdae's pants and swallows hard so his voice will be steady when he says, "Take off your clothes, and turn around."

Baekhyun keeps his eyes on Jongdae as he strips off his own clothes, liking the way he doesn't hesitate as he bares his ass and turns to face the bed. Baekhyun steps behind him, pressing a kiss to Jongdae's shoulder. "You've never done anything like this, have you?" he murmurs.

"I mean, I've eaten women out, but for me..."

"It's a little weird at first," Baekhyun continues, dropping his next kiss between Jongdae's shoulder blades, "but I think you'll like it." There are no guarantees—not everyone is into rimming—but he's determined to make it so good Jongdae can't help but like it.

Jongdae doesn't respond, but Baekhyun feels him shiver as another kiss lands in the middle of his back, and then just above his tailbone as Baekhyun goes down to his knees. Jongdae's ass is even nicer up close, and Baekhyun licks his lips in anticipation. "Tell me if you want more or less or anything," Baekhyun says, dropping one more kiss right on the curve of Jongdae's ass. 

He uses his hands to spread him open and immediately goes for it, circling the rim with his tongue. Jongdae makes a choked off sound that may or may not be a good thing, but Baekhyun assumes he'll say if he doesn't like it and doesn't stop. He doesn't quite like rimming the way he likes giving blowjobs, but there's something thrilling about knowing that he's the first person to ever do this to Jongdae, the first person to ever touch him here and make him realize that it's something he could like.

Jongdae is pretty quiet at the beginning, but he quickly starts making noise, bending forward onto the bed and spreading his legs wider. "Fuck, Baekhyun," he mutters eventually. "I wasn't sure it would be good, but—damn, you really know how to use your mouth. I—" He breaks off to moan as Baekhyun's tongue dips into him. "Don't stop."

Baekhyun does as he's told and continues until Jongdae's words dissolve into incoherent moans that he muffles into his arm. He's rocking into the bed and Baekhyun thinks he might come like this. The thought spurs him to continue. He's never made such a mess of Jongdae, and he really likes it, even if it means waiting to have his own fun. He keeps going, barely coming up for breath, until finally Jongdae lets out a choked off cry and shudders under Baekhyun's hands and mouth, moaning desperately. 

Baekhyun waits until he goes completely still to pull off, pressing a kiss to Jongdae's upper thigh. "Are you alive?" he asks. 

Jongdae just grunts in response, making Baekhyun laugh. He's flopped onto the bed, and after a moment, he rolls over onto his back. He's flushed and his eyes are dark and Baekhyun stands up so he can fully appreciate the sight of him. He looks a mess, and yet there's something fond in his expression at the same time. Baekhyun doesn't understand it, but it makes him smile anyway.

Jongdae runs a hand through his hair, pushing it off his face. "Man, if only my family and friends could see me now..."

"Sorry, I'm not into voyeurism," Baekhyun quips, earning a laugh from Jongdae.

"You know what I mean. No one would ever have guessed that this is how I'd be spending my failed honeymoon."

It makes Baekhyun feel smug to hear that, and amused and also fond, because he didn't expect to meet someone like Jongdae either. "Are you complaining?"

"Not at all." Jongdae reaches out, and Baekhyun leans over him, kissing as Jongdae's hand comes to touch him. Neither of them could have imagined that this how they'd be spending their time on the cruise, but he also doesn't regret it for a second.


	5. All At Sea 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS FOR [All At Sea](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2388038).  
> THE SUMMARY WILL ALSO INCLUDE SPOILERS.  
> STOP READING NOW IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE ORIGINAL FIC YET.  
> (Regardless of spoilers, it won't make sense unless you've read that fic.)
> 
>  
> 
> (Spoiler space)
> 
>  
> 
> This little outtake takes place just before the end of the fic, after Jongdae agrees to stay with the pirates. In which Minseok and Jongdae talk, and they both care about Lu Han in their own ways.

Minseok gets him alone their third day in port. Lu Han went to haggle over materials for ship repairs, and Jongdae intends to go meet Junmyeon and the others to see how their preparations for departure are going, but Minseok catches him as he's leaving. "Are you in a hurry?" he asks.

Minseok's expression tells Jongdae nothing, but he suspects this isn't a casual approach. "Not really. Do you need something?"

"I wanted to talk to you," Minseok says. "It won't take long.

Jongdae nods, trying to hide is wariness. Minseok seems to like him well enough, but things have felt strained since they decided Jongdae would stay, like Minseok disapproves but is keeping his opinion to himself.

Minseok hesitates for a moment but then dives right in without preamble. "I want to know that you've thought about what you're getting into here. That you're not going to cut and run the first time we do something that offends your sensibilities."

"Is that what you think of me?" Jongdae can't help getting defensive, though he knows Minseok isn't saying this to be cruel. Minseok's words probably bother him because he's asking fair questions, given Jongdae's history and the kind of person he is.

"Don't take it as judgment," Minseok says, his voice level. "I see that you're a good man. Good men don't make good pirates if they can't learn to bend."

"So you think I'll cause you trouble?" Jongdae makes an effort to speak more neutrally now. He doesn't want a fight

"We'll manage, whatever you do. But..." Minseok’s expression softens slightly, and Jongdae understands immediately what this is really about. "If you're just going to leave soon, better to leave now."

"I thought we agreed that I couldn't leave." Jongdae doesn't know how to feel about Minseok offering him this out when he thought the decision was made.

Minseok sighs. "It wouldn't be ideal, but we could find a way. Your crew would be willing to sacrifice to get you back, if it came to that. What I'm saying is that if you're going to do this, to sail with us, you need to be committed. Don't do it halfway."

Jongdae meets Minseok's eyes and thinks to himself that they're not so different in many ways. Minseok wants what's best for his ship, his crew, his friends. Minseok is prepared to do what it takes to safeguard them, whether it's the most expedient choice or not.

He gives Minseok's doubts the consideration they deserve. He has his own doubts about whether he's really cut out to be a pirate, even on a ship like the Exotic Pearl, with a captain like Lu Han. All the same, he's made his decision, and he's determined to give it a fair chance. He can learn, as Minseok said, to bend sometimes, and maybe he can be a good influence on the crew at other times. If not, it doesn't have to be forever, but he won't give up too quickly.

"I can't promise I won't leave eventually," Jongdae concedes. "I can't tell you I really know what I'm getting into. But I am taking this seriously. I wouldn't have suggested staying if I wasn't."

Minseok looks at him for a long moment, then nods curtly. "Good. That's all I wanted to know."

Minseok turns to leave, satisfied, but when Jongdae calls, "Minseok?" he turns back with a questioning look. "I don't want to see Lu Han hurt either. I hope you realize that."

Minseok's smile is a little wry, realizing that Jongdae saw right through his motives. "I'm glad to hear it," he says. Then, after a moment, "I look forward to sailing with you."

Despite his lingering doubts, Jongdae means it when he responds, "Me too."


	6. Make Them Hear You 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a (gen) Xiuhan outtake for [Make Them Hear You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1831549). It doesn't really spoil anything for the original fic but will make very little sense without that context.
> 
> In the safe house, Lu Han struggles to deal with his past and Minseok's resolve to help Sirens strengthens.
> 
> (This is actually part of a Xiuhan-focused alternate version that exists mostly in my head, but it basically fits into the original fic except that Yixing isn't there. The actions in this outtake even obliquely made it into the original, so...handwave.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** (one-time) self-harm, burns, past emotional trauma and probably PTSD, mention of internment camps, mention of panic attacks (but one doesn't actually happen), handwavey medical stuff

Minseok is in the living room when he's startled by a loud cry coming from the kitchen, where Lu Han is. He jumps to his feet and runs into the kitchen. Lu Han is standing by the stove clutching his right arm to his chest. He's facing half away, so it's not until Minseok gets closer that he understands. On Lu Han's wrist and the back of his hand, where his Siren tattoo used to be, is something red and horrible looking—and the front burner of the gas stove is on.

"Lu Han!" Minseok gasps, shocked at what he's seeing. He turns off the burner and stares at Lu Han. "What happened?" It looks like Lu Han stuck his hand in the open flame, and the thought of that horrifies Minseok; he wanted his tattoo gone that badly?

Lu Han doesn't answer, or even give any indication that he heard. He has a death grip on his forearm with his opposite hand and his expression is pinched, his face pale.

"Lu Han?" Minseok tries again. He's at a loss for what to do, both about the burn and about Lu Han in his current state.

He realizes after a moment that Lu Han's breath is coming in short little gasps. He must be in incredible pain, but he's unnervingly quiet besides that. Minseok tentatively puts a hand on his shoulder and he flinches slightly but doesn't pull away. "Lu Han, are you..." He trails off as he notices the tears pooling in Lu Han's eyes, and how tightly his jaw is clenched. "If it hurts..."

He breaks off again when Lu Han shakes his head, not just once but four or five times. "Can't," he grits out. His eyes are wide, as though he's afraid, and he's breathing faster. Minseok almost thinks he's having a panic attack, but it might just be from the pain.

"You can't what?" Minseok asks, lost and worried.

"Can't show," Lu Han says through his teeth. "Can't...weak." The last word turns into a gasp of pain. He's trembling with the effort of holding back, and Minseok begins to understand. Lu Han must have learned to suppress a lot in the Siren camp to look strong so he would be safe. Minseok dreads to think what must have happened to him, to make him so afraid to let go even when he's this badly hurt.

"You're safe here," Minseok reminds him, holding Lu Han by both shoulders. "It's okay. No one's going to hurt you."

Lu Han abruptly crumples to the ground, going down to his knees so fast Minseok worries he might have hurt himself more. He follows Lu Han down, kneeling beside him on the kitchen floor. Lu Han's tears have spilled over, but he cries silently, rocking as he continues to hold his arm. Minseok wants to hug him, but he's afraid of touching the burn and making it worse, so he just rubs Lu Han's back and murmurs soothing nonsense. He feels useless and helpless and just so _sad_ , thinking what Lu Han must have been through to end up like this. Lu Han barely seems to notice him, but his eyes flick up a couple of times, as though to confirm that Minseok is still there, so maybe his presence is some comfort.

The following hours are a blur as Minseok searches burn first aid online and makes desperate phone calls to find more qualified help. There's no way Lu Han can go to a hospital, but they have to do something. Lu Han didn't get rescued from a Siren camp only to suffer with an untreated burn or even die from some infection. The connections of connections of connections finally get them a doctor who can be trusted, and she comes to the safe house armed with bandages and burn cream and painkillers.

Minseok doesn't breathe easy until the doctor assures them that while they need to be extremely careful of infection or dehydration, Lu Han should be able to stay out of the hospital. She sympathetically tells Lu Han that he'll probably have a nasty scar, but he doesn't even react. _Is that what you wanted?_ Minseok thinks. He can't understand it, but given what the Siren tattoo signified for Lu Han, maybe it's not so shocking that he'd want it gone by any means necessary.

Lu Han goes to lie down after the doctor leaves, and only emerges a few hours later, when Minseok's heart rate is finally returning to normal. He sits on the couch, holding his right arm so his bandaged hand rests in the middle of his chest. "I'm sorry," he says without looking at Minseok. "It was...bad." In Chinese, he adds, "Stupid. Dangerous."

"It was, maybe, but..." Minseok doesn't want to say that it's okay, because it isn't, or that he understands why Lu Han did it, because how could he? Even so, he's not angry. It's been obvious since Lu Han came here that he's been through serious trauma. Minseok can't fault him for reacting like this, however foolish and incomprehensible it may seem to him. "It doesn't matter," he concludes. "I'm glad you're okay."

Lu Han doesn't respond, but he doesn't leave either. After a long silence during which Minseok's thoughts whirl around in his head, he finally gives into his impulse to ask, "About earlier...how you reacted..." It seems like a bad idea to bring it up now that Lu Han is calm, but he feels he should understand. So little is known about Siren camps, especially in China. They need whatever information they can get, and besides, Minseok feels like he owes it to Lu Han and the Sirens still suffering there to bear witness.

He doesn't know how to finish the question, and he thinks Lu Han won't answer, but finally he says, "In the camp...it wasn't so bad at first, but later, there were always too many people, and not enough space or food or anything. If you wanted a bed or food other than rice or just...peace, you had to be strong. I was lucky it didn't start when I was still small, but..." 

He's speaking Mandarin, so Minseok doesn't get every word, but he understands the gist of it. This is more than Lu Han's spoken the whole time he's been here, but perhaps that's the painkillers the doctor gave him loosening his tongue. Or maybe after what Minseok saw from him earlier, there's no reason to hide anything anymore. Whatever the reason, Minseok is glad he's opening up, as uncomfortable as it makes him to hear it. "It must have been hard, living like that."

Lu Han nods. He looks down at his hand, swathed in bandages, and something hardens in his expression. "I won't go back," he says. "No matter what." If Minseok had any doubt about his determination, it would have already been erased by the fact that Lu Han wanted the tattoo that connected him to his past gone so badly that he was willing to burn it off.

Minseok doesn't fancy himself anywhere near as strong, when he's had a much easier life, but he's determined too, to do the best he can for Lu Han and other Sirens who need him. "We won't let you," he says, and he means it.


	7. Take Flight 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is an outtake for [Take Flight](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5492354), my angsty Luchen baby, which could take place anywhere in the later parts of the fic.
> 
> (THIS OUTTAKE WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS.
> 
> This will also not make sense unless you've read the original fic.
> 
> STOP READING HERE TO AVOID SPOILERS.)
> 
> Lu Han and Jongdae talk about Baekhyun, and it's not easy, but it's good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** discussion of past character death, burn injuries, and scars

Lu Han is looking at pictures Jongdae took of his mom's birthday dinner, but a slip of his finger brings him to the beginning of Jongdae's camera roll, and then to a picture of Jongdae and a guy he doesn't recognize. Maybe he shouldn't look, but curiosity gets the better of him, and he studies the picture. 

The other guy has one arm out to take the picture and the other around Jongdae's shoulders, and Jongdae...Jongdae's face is unmarred by scars, and to Lu Han, who has never seen what he looked like before, it's a shock. It's not just his perfect skin; he looks so happy, so carefree with this man Lu Han doesn't know.

"Who's that?" Lu Han asks curiously. He thinks nothing of the question until he feels Jongdae tense, though it only lasts a few seconds. That makes him even more curious, but also wary.

Given Jongdae's reaction, Lu Han isn't really surprised when he says, "That's Baekhyun." They've talked about him a little, but it's still rare for Jongdae to discuss his trainee days, and mentioning Baekhyun is even more rare. Lu Han wonders if he should drop the subject, but Jongdae gestures at his phone and says, "There are a few more, if you want to see."

Lu Han flips through the other pictures. Jongdae and Baekhyun are making weird faces in the next shot, and then there are two of them laughing, followed by one more shot in which Jongdae is beaming, his eyes crinkled up at the corners and sparkling with happiness.

"I deleted my old pictures," Jongdae says, studying his hands. "Not completely—I have them somewhere—but I took most of them off my phone early on, when I couldn't handle looking at them. I just couldn't delete those."

Lu Han looks down at the current picture again, at Jongdae's brilliant smile. "You look really happy."

"I was." It comes out in this small, sad voice that breaks Lu Han's heart. He pulls Jongdae into a hug on reflex, and he's glad to hear Jongdae laugh. "I'm okay, hyung."

"Maybe I just wanted to hug you." He is happy to hold Jongdae like this, even if that's not really the only reason he's doing it. He only does it for a moment, and he's relieved to see that Jongdae is smiling when he pulls away, albeit weakly.

"It's fine, you know." Jongdae takes his phone back from Lu Han and flips through the pictures again, more slowly. "It's not like I can't talk about the past. About Baekhyun. It's just..." He sighs and looks down, lingering on the first picture. "It's hard. I still can't really believe he's gone."

Lu Han puts an arm around Jongdae again, because physical comfort is all he has to offer. "You don't have to talk about him. But you can, if you want."

A long silence follows his words, long enough that Lu Han is considering how to change the subject without it being terribly awkward when Jongdae finally says, "After the fire, they didn't tell me right away. First, they weren't sure if Baekhyun would make it or not; he was badly burned, but there was still a small chance. Then, no one wanted to upset me while I was in pretty bad shape. I had a feeling, though. Baekhyun was right next to me when the fire started, so I knew he must have been hurt too, but he wasn't there in the burn unit. I asked about him and everyone hedged. So I wasn't totally surprised when I found out, but still...it just doesn't make sense, you know, when someone dies so suddenly. He was young and healthy and so...alive that I couldn't understand him being gone."

Lu Han doesn't know what to say to that, which is an unfortunately common experience for him with Jongdae. He's never lost a friend his age, let alone in such a sudden, shocking way. Even if he had, he doubts there would be any right words to say about it.

"While I was recovering, I kept wishing he was there with me," Jongdae continues, not seeming to need any response from Lu Han. "Awful as all of it was, he probably would have found a way to laugh about it. On the other hand, I don't know, maybe it would have broken his spirit. I'd hate to see that." Another heavy sigh. "I don't know why I'm saying all of this. I feel like I owe it to Baekhyun to remember the good things. And I do—I mean, I will. But it's hard to let go of the bad things when they're...really bad."

"It's okay," Lu Han tells him. "You don't have to force yourself if you're not ready."

"I don't know if I'll ever be ready." Jongdae gives one more sigh and then sits up straighter. "I think I have a few more pictures from the Halloween party. Let me show you. It was great."

There's still sadness lacing Jongdae's words, but he laughs as he shows Lu Han pictures of Baekhyun dressed up as, of all things, a cucumber. (It's so ridiculous that it makes Lu Han sad he missed it.) He hopes that with time, Jongdae will be able to laugh more and hurt less, looking back. Lu Han doesn't know Baekhyun, and he'll never get a chance to know him, but he thinks any good friend of Jongdae's would want him to laugh like this, eventually even like he did in those pictures, and be happy.


	8. Easy After All 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another little outtake for [Easy After All](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3867514), taking place at some point after the end of the fic.
> 
> Baekhyun encounters a piece of Jongdae's past, and makes him (mostly) appreciate his present.

Baekhyun and Jongdae are on their way back from the bar to their friends, weaving through the crowds with drinks in their hands, when suddenly a woman's voice says, "Jongdae?" They both stop walking and Baekhyun looks curiously at the unfamiliar woman, then at Jongdae, who clearly does recognize her but doesn't look happy to see her. Could this be the infamous ex-fiancée?

"Hyejin," Jongdae says. "Good to see you." He sounds polite, at least, but he's usually so friendly that the contrast is stark.

Jongdae turns to Baekhyun like he's going to introduce him, but before he can, another woman comes up behind Hyejin. "Hey, Hyejinnie, did you get—oh." Her eyes land on Jongdae and go wide. "Jongdae. Hi." She looks awfully uncomfortable, much more than Hyejin, making Baekhyun think that this is actually his ex.

"Hello, noona." It says a lot about how much they don't discuss Jongdae's ex that, assuming this is her, Baekhyun didn't even know she was older. Jongdae's voice is flat, but this time when he turns to Baekhyun, he manages a bit of a smile. "This is Byun Baekhyun. Baekhyun, this is Kim Hyejin and Lee Jiyeon." He doesn't explain who they are, or who Baekhyun is, but he does take a step closer to Baekhyun.

"Nice to meet you." Baekhyun, never one to pass up an opportunity to be in your face, closes the distance between him and Jongdae, casually wrapping an arm around his waist. He sees the women's eyes follow the movement and resists the urge to smirk. It's not his place to push this too far if Jongdae might not want it.

"How are you doing, Jongdae?" Jiyeon asks.

"I'm good." Jongdae doesn't pull away from Baekhyun—if anything, he leans into him a little—which tells Baekhyun that what he's doing is okay. "How are you?"

"I'm all right." 

This is so unbearably awkward that Baekhyun's looking for a joke to relieve the tension, but he's spared that when Hyejin jumps in, "We'll let you get back to wherever you were headed. It was nice to see you." Jiyeon nods, and so does Jongdae, and the women hurry off rather quickly.

Baekhyun turns to Jongdae without letting go of him. "Was that who I think it was?"

"It was indeed," Jongdae confirms. He sounds faintly amused now, to Baekhyun's relief.

"Is this the first time you've seen her since she dumped you?" Jongdae grimaces at Baekhyun's choice of words but nods. "Man, you're a lot nicer than me," Baekhyun says. "I would have said something like 'This is my boyfriend, Baekhyun. He's way hotter than you and we have amazing sex.'"

Jongdae splutters and pulls away from Baekhyun. "You are so shameless." Then, with a chuckle, "You're not wrong, though." Baekhyun crows gleefully and Jongdae rolls his eyes. "Come on, stud. Let's get out of here before we have another awkward encounter."

"Fine," Baekhyun agrees (none too eager for another encounter after how awkward that one was), "but don't think I'm letting you forget that."


	9. Four 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a piece of a full epilogue to [Four](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3379208) that mostly exists only in my head. You could read it without having read the original, but it will be more satisfying if you have.
> 
> Lu Han reconnects with Minseok and Yixing halfway around the world, and many things are different, but somehow they still fit together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will probably make more sense with an explanation of the overall epilogue, so briefly: Xiuhanlaychen break up peacefully when Minseok and Lu Han graduate, since Minseok goes to the army, Lu Han moves back to China, and Yixing moves to the US not long after. 
> 
> When he gets out of the army, Minseok also moves to the US for grad school, and strikes up a new relationship with Yixing, with the blessing of Lu Han and Jongdae. This takes place after Xiulay have been together for a while.
> 
> **Warning:** threesome porn with feelings

When Minseok arrives at Lu Han's hotel, Yixing is already there, the two of them sitting in the comfortable armchairs in the lobby. It's a nice hotel, not surprising considering that Lu Han works for a very nice company. Minseok, with his grad school stipend and small shared apartment, is a little jealous, but mostly he's proud that Lu Han is doing so well for himself.

Lu Han and Yixing are speaking in rapid-fire Mandarin that goes right over Minseok's head. His Chinese has gone downhill as his English has gotten better, especially since he hasn't had much cause to practice it. They stop once they see him anyway, greeting him in Korean as they get to their feet. "It's good to see you," Lu Han says, giving Minseok a tight hug. 

They haven't seen each other in a year and a half, since they met in Korea the summer before Minseok left for grad school, but hugging Lu Han still feels comfortable and familiar. Talking to him does too, conversation flowing easily as they chat about Lu Han's flight and his interview tomorrow, to see whether he's a good fit for this branch of his current company. He's nervous, Minseok can see, but mostly drowning that feeling in his enthusiasm at seeing Minseok and Yixing again. The three of them haven't been together since before Minseok went to the army, which feels like an eternity.

Maybe it should feel awkward, given that the last time they were all together it was the three of them plus Jongdae, still dating, and then they broke up, and now Minseok and Yixing are dating again. It doesn't, though, at least not to Minseok. He and Yixing agreed that they're open to starting things up again if Lu Han's transfer is approved, and open to something happening on this visit regardless. They haven't talked to Lu Han about it yet, but it's not hard to guess that he'll be up for it. In the meantime, it's fine just hanging out like the old friends they feel like now.

They have dinner together and it feels like old times, though they never could have afforded a meal like this before. (Minseok and Yixing still can't, but Lu Han inists on treating them, and Minseok can't turn down good food.) They have a drink after, but only one, since Lu Han has an interview tomorow. 

It's not very nice, but something about Lu Han always makes Minseok want to play with him, so as they nurse their drinks, Minseok finds himself moving closer to Yixing, faux-casually draping an arm over the back of his chair. Lu Han is sitting opposite them and Minseok sees his eyes follow the movement. Minseok taps his glass against his lips, pretending that it's just an absent gesture, and Lu Han watches that too. His eyes are hungry, telling Minseok he was entirely right to think that Lu Han would want them tonight.

Yixing put on a nice shirt for dinner, but in typical Yixing fashion, it's now unbuttoned halfway down his chest. Minseok can tell he's noticed Lu Han watching when he starts fiddling with one side of the collar in a way Minseok's sure is deliberate. They could keep this up, but Minseok abandons all subtlety and smirks at Lu Han, who looks very briefly shocked, then offended, then amused. "Let's get out of here, if you're going to be like that." Lu Han doesn't sound like he minds at all.

They finish their drinks quickly and head back to the hotel. In the privacy of the hotel room, Lu Han turns to them, smiling but a little uncertain. "I wasn't sure how this would go. I didn't want to assume."

Minseok smiles reassuringly, and Yixing says, "Neither did we, but we thought you'd probably be interested. But what happens after this depends on if you move here or not; will you be okay if it doesn't work out?"

Lu Han frowns briefly, but then his smile returns. "I can handle it. I'll be sad, but I'm not a kid anymore. And I don't want to waste this chance." Then, after a beat, "It's okay with you?"

"I'll be sad too, but yes," Yixing says.

"Me too. You'd better ace that interview tomorrow so we don't have to be sad," Minseok tells him.

Lu Han grimaces. "I'll do my best."

"Good," Minseok says. "Then we'll do what we can do distract you from being nervous tonight."

They could play around more, but none of them really wants that, not when it's been so long. Minseok goes for it first, moving to kiss Lu Han, who eagerly responds right away. This feels familiar too, despite the years that have passed, the way Lu Han's mouth opens against his, the way his arms hold Minseok tight as they kiss, and even the way his hair feels between Minseok's fingers, though it's shorter than it was in university. Lu Han was the first man Minseok kissed, and even though it's been a long time since he was the only one, there's still something about kissing him that feels like coming home.

They've been kissing for a solid few minutes before Minseok notices Yixing moving behind Lu Han, kissing his neck and letting his hands drift down Lu Han's body, occasionally brushing Minseok's in the process. He doesn't seem to mind being left out of the kissing, but Minseok eventually feels bad and pulls away, despite a whine of protest from Lu Han. 

"There's plenty of time for more of that," Minseok assures him, giving Lu Han one more peck before leaning over his shoulder to kiss Yixing. He has to stand up on his toes to make it work, but Lu Han's arms hold him steady, and remind him that this isn't like all the other times he's kissed Yixing recently. It sends a thrill of anticipation through Minseok. Things have been good with just Yixing, not leaving Minseok feeling unsatisfied, but they both remember how it was being with Lu Han and Jongdae, how they can be that much better.

Minseok and Yixing don't kiss for as long, mutually breaking apart, and then Minseok steps back so Lu Han can turn to kiss Yixing. Lu Han's never been as clingy with Yixing as with Minseok, but that doesn't mean they don't both throw themselves into the kiss. There's a flush rising in Lu Han's cheeks already, and Minseok trails his fingers over his skin. He decides he wants to up the ante, kneeling in the space between Lu Han and Yixing's legs. Lu Han tenses at the touch of Minseok's hands on his thighs, but they don't stop kissing until he puts his mouth on Lu Han's pants right on top of his cock, and Lu Han pulls back with a groan.

"You don't like it?" Minseok asks innocently.

"I forgot how evil you can get," Lu Han grumbles, even as his unsteady voice betrays his eagerness. "I need to wear these pants tomorrow, so give me a sec."

Minseok and Yixing stay right where they are as Lu Han quickly pulls off his pants and drapes them neatly over a chair. "How about your shirt?" Yixing asks. He's even better at playing innocent than Minseok, though they all know he isn't.

"I don't—" Lu Han starts, then thinks better of it and takes off his dress shirt as quickly as his fingers can unbutton. He's still wearing an undershirt and briefs, but he doesn't bother with those before letting Yixing tug him in for another kiss. The element of surprise is lost now, but Lu Han still shivers nicely when Minseok's mouth lands on his cock, less fabric in the way now. Minseok licks along the length of it and feels it start to swell under his tongue. It makes him eager for more, though he doesn't even know yet what he wants from Lu Han tonight.

He gets in a few more licks before Yixing and Lu Han break apart. "Enough with these clothes," Yixing pronounces, offering Minseok a hand up before starting to quickly undress. Minseok does the same, but Lu Han gets so distracted watching them that he's barely half out of his undershirt by the time Minseok and Yixing are naked. "Has it been so long since you had sex that you've forgotten how to take your clothes off?" Yixing teases, ignoring Lu Han's affronted "Hey!" in favor of stripping off Lu Han's underwear for him. Lu Han finally tugs off his shirt, and Yixing says, "That's better."

Minseok and Yixing cooperate to push Lu Han back onto the bed, spread out for them to explore his body with their mouths. He's gained a little weight and lost some muscle now that he spends his days sitting in an office, but not that much; Minseok is sure he still plays soccer every chance he gets. Minseok kisses him again, occasionally drifting down to his neck and shoulders and chest, while Yixing moves further down, kissing Lu Han's stomach and thighs before continuing what Minseok started in getting Lu Han hard. Lu Han moans softly against Minseok's lips as Yixing gets into it, already beautifully turned on.

After a while, Yixing asks, "Do you want to be in the middle, Lu-ge? I remember you always liked that."

"Yeah," Lu Han breathes without a second of hesitation.

"Let me fuck you," Yixing continues just as quickly.

This time Lu Han draws in a sharp breath before agreeing, "Yeah." He looks up at Minseok, who nods his approval of the plan. He knows that with Yixing and Lu Han, he'll enjoy whatever they do. He gets up to fetch lube and condoms from his pants pocket, and returns to the bed to find Yixing and Lu Han kissing again, Lu Han now lying on top of Yixing. 

Minseok puts a hand on Lu Han's ass, thinking he might get him ready like this, but Lu Han gets out, "Wait, Minseok." He rolls off Yixing and looks up at Minseok, his eyes shining. "Let me prep you first."

Minseok remembers how much he always enjoyed Lu Han's fingers inside of him, and he swallows hard. "Okay. But you'd better hurry because I can't promise Yixing will be patient."

Lu Han laughs. "I can do that." They adjust so Lu Han is sitting up with Minseok kneeling over his thighs, Yixing behind Minseok so he can let his hands and mouth roam. Lu Han gives Minseok a brief kiss before slicking his fingers up with lube and reaching behind him. Anticipation has Minseok shuddering at the first brush of Lu Han's fingertips, and Lu Han tries for a smirk but mostly just looks excited. "I've missed you. This."

"Touch me," Minseok says by way of response.

"That means he's missed you too," Yixing translates with a chuckle. "I have too."

Minseok doesn't argue, and even if he wanted to, Lu Han's finger pushing into him would be a very effective distraction. Lu Han is cautious at first, wriggling his finger around until he's sure Minseok is okay with it, but then he does as he was told and hurries, pumping one and then two fingers in Minseok. It's just as good as Minseok remembers, maybe more so because it's been so long, or maybe Lu Han's just gotten better at it. It makes him rock forward, moaning when his cock brushes Lu Han's stomach as Lu Han's fingers curl inside of him.

Yixing stays where he is, occasionally giving Minseok's cock a stroke but otherwise just casually touching him elsewhere, until Minseok's legs give out and he sits down on Lu Han's thighs, slumping forward and drawing a moan from Lu Han too. Then Yixing murmurs, "Lie down, hyung."

Reluctantly, Minseok pulls off of Lu Han's fingers and lies on his back. Lu Han kneels beside him, upright at first but then leaning forward when Yixing pushes him down. Lu Han pushes Minseok thigh up, pressing a kiss to the back of it, then dips his fingers in again. He's somewhat distracted once Yixing gets started with him, but that doesn't stop him from making a mess of Minseok, fingers reaching in deep and then curling up along the side and all the way out, circling the rim and pushing back in again, scissoring around in a way that makes Minseok's legs shake and his cock ache, his whole body hot and desperate.

"Lu Han," Minseok whines, less because he wants more than because he needs to say something, and because he thinks Lu Han will like the sound of it. Sure enough, it spurs Lu Han to move his hand faster, even as he shakes from Yixing's touch. It feels so good that for a second Minseok thinks he might come just like that, and he clamps his fingers tight around the base of his cock to stave it off. It's too soon for this to be over.

It seems like an eternity before Yixing says, "Okay," and Lu Han's hand goes still, his fingers still buried deep. He gives one last completely unfair wiggle that makes Minseok groan before pulling his hand away.

"How should we do this?" Lu Han asks.

"End of the bed," Minseok tells him. He's let the others call the shots so far, but he knows what he wants now. It doesn't surprise him that Lu Han knows what he means, lying down at the end of the bed so his legs hang off. Like that, Minseok can kneel over his stomach, while Yixing gets off the bed and stands between his legs. Yixing puts a hand on Minseok's hip and uses his other to hold Lu Han's cock steady, while Lu Han holds up both hands for Minseok to take. Like that, Minseok slowly sinks down onto Lu Han, watching his expression shift as Minseok's body takes him in. He's so sensitive already that it feels really good, and even better when Yixing gives him a few strokes.

Minseok starts to move right away, rocking up and down on Lu Han. As soon as he's got a steady pace going, Yixing lifts Lu Han's legs and pushes into him, and Minseok enjoys the way Lu Han's pretty face crumbles as he moans heavily. They're out of practice with threesomes (or more) and it's a little clumsy, but it feels good all the same. Minseok leans forward after a while until he can kiss Lu Han, feeling Yixing lean in behind him. Lu Han touches him as they kiss, in quick strokes that mean he's probably close too. 

It's not long before Minseok's orgasm hits him, a slow start that bursts into waves of pleasure as he grinds down onto Lu Han. That all it takes to drive Lu Han over the edge too, his whole body shaking as he moans into Minseok's mouth. Minseok expects Yixing to take longer, since he didn't have the build-up they did, but it only takes a few more thrusts before he comes with a low groan. Then they're all still, breathing heavily, their bodies still tangled together. It feels so natural, despite any awkwardness of their position, like no time has passed since they were together like this all the time.

The first thing Yixing says when they break apart is, "I feel like we should send Jongdae a picture."

Lu Han bursts out laughing, and Minseok says, "Jongdae is in the army right now, and you should definitely _not_ send him a picture of three naked men."

"I know," Yixing says, unbothered by their reaction. "I just mean...it's really good to be together again. It would be even better if he was here too."

"Yeah," Minseok agrees, finding himself smiling fondly. "Maybe next year." It seems like too much to ask for their little foursome to come together again halfway around the world, but they can dream. He wouldn't have even expected three of them to be together after all this time, so far from home, so there's no telling what the future will bring.

Lu Han doesn't say anything, just reaches out with his usual cuddling impulse. He catches Minseok, pulling him into his side, and Minseok drapes an arm across his chest, pillowing his head on Lu Han's shoulder. Yixing moves to his other side, his arm crossing Lu Han's stomach. They're quiet for a while, but finally Lu Han says, "You know, whatever happens, I'm glad. I thought maybe things were too different now for us to work, and...I don't know, maybe it'll turn out that they are even if I do get the job. But I think it could work, and even if it doesn't, I'm just glad. That I got to be with you again."

By way of answer, Minseok kisses Lu Han's shoulder, then scoots up to kiss his mouth. Lu Han smiles softly at him, and Minseok smiles back in kind. "I'm glad too. And for what it's worth, I think we could make it work."

"Me too," Yixing agrees. "So do well on your interview so they'll agree to transfer you here and we'll get a chance. No pressure."

Lu Han laughs, only a little strained. "I will."

Yixing and Minseok still have to go to their respective homes tonight, and they all have work to get back to in the morning, but for just a little while, they lie in bed together, warm and comfortable, and Minseok lets himself dream of a future where it can always be like this.


	10. Master 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS FOR [Master](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9187775/chapters/20852891).  
> IF YOU HAVEN'T READ IT, TURN BACK NOW OR YOU'LL RUIN THE FIC FOR YOURSELF.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (See above re: spoilers.)
> 
> (It also will probably not make much sense if you haven't read Master.)
> 
>  
> 
> I have a whole bunch of epilogue ideas for this fic. This piece is part of a whole Baekchen subplot that I'll hopefully write more of. In which Xiumin, Luhan and Chanyeol tell Baekhyun and Chen how their situation has changed, and Baekhyun has a bit of crisis.
> 
>  
> 
> **Warnings:** The whole universe contains basically sexual slavery and associated highly dubious consent. Baekchen are about as consensual as you can get in that context, but be aware.

Chen thinks nothing of it when his master tells him that they're invited to Lord Chanyeol's for dinner, aside from looking forward to Xiumin and Luhan's company. It pleases him that he and Lord Chanyeol's toys have become good friends, though it will take them time still to become as close as their masters, who have known each other their whole lives.

He and Baekhyun talk the whole way over to Chanyeol's, as usual. Once there, they greet Chanyeol and his toys before separating for some pre-dinner drinks. "How are you doing?" Chen asks Xiumin and Luhan as they sit down together. "You seem well."

Xiumin and Luhan exchange a look, which is a strange reaction to such a simple question. They seem a little nervous, though Chen can also see something fond in that look, as he does whenever they look at each other. He gets along well with Chanyeol's toys, but never as well as they do with each other.

"We're well, thank you," Xiumin answers simply. "And you?"

Chen's answer is interrupted by Baekhyun's sudden yelp of, "What?" Chen is used to his master being loud, but he sounds quite shocked by whatever it is Chanyeol said to him.

Xiumin keeps his expression neutral, but Luhan, who is always easier for Chen to read, grimaces. "I take it you know what that was about?" He can hear Chanyeol speaking, but not quite clearly enough for him to eavesdrop.

"Yes." Luhan looks to Xiumin for help, more clearly nervous now.

"There's something we've been meaning to tell you," Xiumin says, "though we had to wait until our master—until Lord Chanyeol was ready to tell Lord Baekhyun as well." Chen notices the correction from "master" to "Lord Chanyeol," but he has no idea how to interpret it. He waits until Xiumin continues, "The short version of it is that Lord Chanyeol set us free. We no longer belong to him as toys."

That's shocking enough that Chen can understand his master's reaction, though he restrains himself from a similar response. "And yet you're still here." He has a lot of questions, but that will do as a start.

"Lord Chanyeol has graciously allowed us to stay with him, since life would be difficult if we were turned out of his home." Xiumin says it delicately, but Chen can read between the lines that this was something they had reason to fear, though he still doesn't know why. "And for now, we're keeping up appearances until Lord Chanyeol is prepared to be more open about it."

"And why would your master—that is, Lord Chanyeol—set you free?" It's not unheard of for masters to free their toys, and even to allow them to continue living in their homes after, but only once they get married, or at least choose to replace aging toys with younger ones.

"Well..." Xiumin exchanges another look with Luhan, and this time the fondness is more strongly evident. "I suspect it will not surprise you to learn that Luhan and I...developed feelings for each other in the time we've spent together."

He's correct that it doesn't surprise Chen, though it does surprise him that Xiumin is admitting it. He's seen how close Xiumin and Luhan have become, and Luhan did a poor job hiding his feelings, but he didn't think anything would ever come of it. Toys can't allow feelings to interfere with their ability to serve their masters, and Xiumin and Luhan are—were, rather—good toys. "I suspected as much," he says.

"Lord Chanyeol found out," Luhan explains. "I...let slip too much one night." He blushes when he says it, which makes Chen awfully curious.

He raises his eyebrow and Luhan winces, knowing he won't get away with glossing over it so easily. "Oh really? What did you _let slip_ while you were with Lord Chanyeol?" Luhan's ears turn red when he blushes, and Chen finds it endlessly amusing.

"It's not like that!" Luhan splutters. "It's only...I said Xiumin's name—that is..."

Xiumin looks faintly amused at Luhan's reaction but comes to his rescue all the same. "Luhan and I had discussed that I was sold into being a toy, and I told him what my name was before. He enjoyed calling me that and I rather foolishly allowed him to when we were alone. Lord Chanyeol was understandably confused when Luhan suddenly said that name in his bedroom."

Chen is torn between teasing Luhan and asking the many questions Xiumin's summary brings up. His curiosity wins out over his teasing impulse and he asks, "You were sold old enough to remember your name?"

"Yes," Xiumin answers. "I was ten."

"Wow." It's rare for toys to be sold past the age of five, and it's especially difficult to believe it of Xiumin, who seems a consummate toy. "I was sold into it too, but I was only three, I believe."

"You too?" Luhan asks, so surprised it makes Chen smile.

"I scarcely remember anything from before, so it's nothing to make a fuss about. But ten is unusual." Xiumin looks a little uncomfortable with this discussion, so instead of continuing in that vein, Chen asks, "And what was this name that Luhan likes so much?"

"Minseok." Xiumin's smile is wry, but then it turns softer. "I've been thinking about using that name again, now that things are different, but it feels strange after all this time."

"Tell me what you prefer and I'll call you that." It feels strange to Chen too, in a way, learning this about Xiumin, and hearing that his closest toy friends are no longer toys, but he's happy for them. Too few toys have a chance at this kind of happiness.

Xiumin nods. "I will, once I know myself. In any case, Luhan's slip led to Lord Chanyeol finding out about us. He was understandably angry, but ultimately he decided not to punish us, and in fact to free us and not turn us out on the street."

"He reconsidered his views about toys in general," Luhan adds, "and decided that he doesn't think it's right to have toys. Hearing about Minseok's life before and how he was sold into being a toy made him look at us differently."

That's even more surprising to hear than Chanyeol being willing to free his toys. Chen glances over at his master, still talking to Chanyeol, and wonders how he'll take hearing this part of the story. Not well, he expects. He'll find out later, but for now, he turns back to Xiumin and Luhan. "That's quite a change."

"It is," Xiumin says. "To be honest, we were surprised to hear it. We hadn't been thinking beyond ourselves, but Lord Chanyeol really considered the matter deeply. He's not going to fight for the freedom of all toys yet, or perhaps ever, but he wants to do what he can to help, perhaps with toys who are sent back and have nowhere to go. We've been discussing what we can do."

It's a lot to take in. Chen has thought himself about the lot of toys, though he's avoided dwelling on the unfairness of it. Although on some level he agrees with Chanyeol that it's not right for anyone to own another human being, he's long since resigned himself to that being the way of the world. He counts himself lucky to have a decent master whose company he genuinely enjoys and doesn't concern himself with the future or the larger world more than he has to. It's easy to be happy for his friends that they can be together in freedom, but more complicated to think beyond that.

Then again, Chanyeol is only one lord among many, and he hasn't even told anyone but Baekhyun his newfound revolutionary views yet. If change is coming for toys, it will be slow, likely far too slow to make a difference in Chen's life. There's no reason to think too hard about that distant possibility, especially not when he's content with his lot in life. He's not like Xiumin and Luhan, who wanted something they couldn't have as long as they were toys.

He's let the silence stretch out too long, so Luhan jumps in. "I hope we can continue to be friends as we have been, even if we're not toys anymore."

"Of course!" Chen smiles his best reassuring smile. "I would be offended if you didn't want to be my friend anymore."

 

They don't discuss the situation at dinner, beyond an odd comment here and there, but Chen can see that Baekhyun is thinking about it as they make their way home. He's tipsy as he always is after dinner with Chanyeol, though not as bad as some nights. "They told you?" he asks as they settle into their carriage. "Xiumin and Luhan?"

"Yes."

Baekhyun frowns. "Did you know? That they were...like that?"

"No, I didn't." It's not a lie; he didn't know for a fact, even if he suspected that there was something there.

"Chanyeol said he had no idea. How could he have no idea what was going on under his nose? But he and his toys are—were different. Not like us." Baekhyun frowns more deeply, looking at Chen. "He was so surprised to hear that Xiumin was ten when he was sold. Nobody would guess it, looking at him." From the way he's studying Chen, his next question is predictable. "What about you?"

"Was I sold?" Chen asks. When Baekhyun nods, he says, "Yes." His master's eyes go wide, so Chen hurries to reassure him, "I wasn't like Xiumin. I was a small child, too young to remember anything from before."

"But you had a family. Maybe you still do, somewhere out there." The guilt is clear in Baekhyun's expression.

"Maybe, or maybe they're dead. It doesn't matter. They'd be strangers to me, and in any case, I'm a toy now." Despite his somewhat conflicted feelings, Chen doesn't want his master to feel guilty. It wasn't his fault that Chen was sold, and it happened so long ago that he doesn't even remember it. He smiles, hoping to communicate that without saying it straight out.

Baekhyun goes silent, and stays that way until they get home. It's the normal way of things for them to fall into bed together after dinner, and they get as far as the bedroom before Baekhyun hesitates. "I..." His right hand is partially outstretched, as though he wants to reach for Chen but is unsure if he should.

"It's all right, master." Chen doesn't wait for a response before moving in for a kiss. Baekhyun hesitates for a few seconds longer, but then it melts away. They have sex like any other night, like nothing has changed—because it hasn't, not for them, and it doesn't need to.

They kiss for a while afterwards and Chen expects his master to fall asleep on him like he usually does, but instead he pulls away after a while, his expression serious again. "Chen, I... I don't know if..."

He can't seem to find the words, so Chen comes to his rescue. "I assure you, master, I don't expect anything from you."

"It doesn't bother you?" Baekhyun asks. "That Xiumin and Luhan are free and you're not?"

Chen pauses, weighing his words. "It wasn't freedom that Xiumin and Luhan wanted. They wanted to be together—to only be together. They couldn't have that while they were Lord Chanyeol's toys. There's no one like that for me. Besides, as you said, we're different together than Lord Chanyeol and his toys. I'm happy with you."

"Are you?" Baekhyun looks so concerned, and hopeful at the same time, making Chen think of a puppy trying to cheer up its master. The thought makes him smile. He's lucky to have a master like Baekhyun, who is clumsy sometimes but unfailingly kind.

"I am." It's not the whole, simple truth, because Chen does regret not having more choices in life, not having the world open to him. All the same, he is happy enough with the life he has here, however small it feels sometimes. If this is all he can ever have, it won't be such a bad life.

Baekhyun studies him for a while longer but can't seem to find anything that makes him doubt Chen's words. Finally, he says, "I hope I will continue to make you happy." He pulls Chen in for a kiss, indicating that he doesn't need a response, and then they curl up together and fall asleep like any other night.


	11. Easy After All 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a 2000 word epilogue of sorts for [Easy After All](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3867514), although technically the very end of the fic takes place after this outtake. This will make much more sense if you have read the original fic.
> 
> (Summary contains spoilers for the original fic)
> 
> Baekhyun and Jongdae go on a cruise five years after the one they met on, and it's as much fun as the first, but also so much better.

To celebrate turning thirty, they go on a cruise together, their first since the one they met on. After weeks of waffling over the many options, they chose this particular one, an off-season deal for a European cruise, because the last full day falls on Jongdae's birthday. Baekhyun's looking forward to the destinations and the whole cruise experience, but mostly to two uninterrupted weeks with Jongdae, plus a fun chance to reminisce about how they met.

It's hard to believe five years have passed. They have as much fun together now as they did back then, though they've both matured somewhat and their relationship has come a long way from those days of no-strings-attached sex. There are still days when Baekhyun gets anxious about how much he cares about Jongdae, or when being in a long-term relationship makes him feel trapped, but after five years of knowing each other and four and a half years of dating, they're rare. Most of the time, he's happy being with Jongdae.

The cruise is everything Baekhyun could have hoped for, fun days of sightseeing and exciting nights of good food and drink and sex. It makes Baekhyun laugh that he once worried he'd get bored sleeping with the same person for so long; he never gets bored with Jongdae, in or out of bed. He says as much to Jongdae on the second to last night, the night before Jongdae's birthday, as they sprawl out in bed with their limbs tangled together. 

"I'm glad you find me entertaining," Jongdae says, amused and fond at the same time.

Baekhyun rolls over to flop on top of Jongdae, grinning down at him. "And how about you?"

Jongdae's smile widens. "I find you very entertaining."

Baekhyun protests his answer with an incredibly unconvincing shove, and ruins it anyway by following it up with a kiss, but it's fine. He knows how Jongdae feels about him.

They fall asleep before midnight, but that means they wake up early enough for Baekhyun to spoil Jongdae with a nice, slow "happy birthday blowjob." Jongdae's still fuzzy with sleep, his expression so soft as he looks down his body at Baekhyun and cards his fingers through Baekhyun's hair. After, Baekhyun kisses Jongdae and murmurs, "Happy birthday," against his lips.

They dock for a half-day excursion, enjoying a cold but beautiful hike, and then return to the ship, where they warm up with a bath and only splash each other a little, since they're adults. They get drinks to kill time before dinner and then a few more after dinner, pretty drunk by the time they stake out a spot on deck for some stargazing.

It's cold outside, and Jongdae takes that excuse to cuddle up behind Baekhyun as he stands at the railing, watching the moon reflect off the ocean. "I'm glad we did this," Baekhyun comments. "It was really fun."

"It was," Jongdae agrees.

"It'll be weird going back home, though." It's been so nice, having nothing to do except enjoy each other's company, not to mention the good food and beautiful scenery. "You know, I read about people who just live full-time as cruise passengers, going all over and never having to worry about food or cleaning or anything. I think they're usually retired, but whatever, maybe we could make it work. Charm someone into giving us easy jobs on ship so we could get paid but still have free time. I could—"

Baekhyun doesn't realize how much he's rambling until Jongdae cuts in, exasperated, "Baekhyun!"

"What?" He turns around in Jongdae's arms. That ruins any hope of pretending that they're trying to keep warm rather than cuddling, but there aren't enough people around for Baekhyun to care.

"I didn't bring you out here to talk about stuff that's never going to happen." Jongdae looks serious, though his eyes are shiny and his words not quite clear.

"I thought we came out here to stargaze," Baekhyun says.

"We did, but also..." Jongdae presses his lips together. He looks so cute that Baekhyun doesn't resist the urge to press a quiet kiss to them. "I wanted to..." Jongdae drops his arms from where they're wrapped around Baekhyun but doesn't move away, and runs a hand through his hair. "I shouldn't have drunk so much."

"Is something wrong?" Jongdae suddenly seems stressed, and Baekhyun is confused as to why. He seemed so happy until now, and he shouldn't be upset on his birthday.

"I...I love you."

Now Baekhyun is totally lost, cocking his head as he studies Jongdae, looking for an explanation. "I love you too?"

"I..." Jongdae sighs heavily and concludes, "Let's go inside."

Baekhyun still has no idea what's going on, but he follows Jongdae back to their room and doesn't object when Jongdae pulls him into bed. Their clothes come off quickly, but then they kiss and kiss for ages. Baekhyun is letting Jongdae call the shots, both because of his mood and because it's his birthday. He's never one to object to kissing, but he'd like more too.

When Jongdae finally comes up for air, Baekhyun is relieved to see a hazy smile on his face, his earlier mood seemingly past. They keep kissing while Jongdae preps Baekhyun, and as he fucks him in torturously slow strokes, tangling his fingers with Baekhyun's so he can't touch himself and speed things up. Baekhyun whines incoherently in the moments his mouth is free, but Jongdae ignores him and he doesn't even mind.

Jongdae finally frees his hands when they're both desperate and kisses him right through the climax. There's an intimacy to the whole thing that once would have made Baekhyun squirm, but that's how Jongdae is, and Baekhyun has learned to appreciate it.

Only after, when Jongdae rolls off to the side but doesn't move or speak, does Baekhyun remember his weird mood earlier. He sits up to see if maybe Jongdae has just fallen asleep, but his eyes are open, looking up at the ceiling. Baekhyun is briefly distracted by how hot rumpled, post-coital Jongdae looks, and he'd like to follow that thought further, but he reluctantly forces himself to be responsible. "What's with you tonight? You're supposed to be happy on your birthday. Are you depressed about getting old?"

He's hoping to get a smile from Jongdae, but there's not even a flicker. Instead, he stands up and goes into the bathroom. He doesn't close the door, but Baekhyun gives him ten seconds before he follows. He finds Jongdae splashing water on his face, and grabs a towel to hand him. While he dries off, Baekhyun makes a token effort to clean himself up. When he's done, he turns to find Jongdae watching him in the doorway. "What?"

"Are you still drunk?" Jongdae asks.

Baekhyun shrugs. "Kind of. Not that bad. Why?"

"I want to do this right." Jongdae looks pouty now, and Baekhyun is still trying to make sense of this. Jongdae is usually an upbeat person, and straightforward if something is bothering him. The only time Baekhyun has seen him like this, clearly upset but unwilling to talk about it, is just before they got together, when they were each convinced the other wasn't into it.

Before Baekhyun can ask if something like that is going on (though he can't think what it would be this time, when he and Jongdae have been happily together for so many years), Jongdae turns on his heel and returns to the bedroom. He picks up his discarded pants and tugs them on like he wants to go back out, but stops at that, flopping into the chair in the corner of the room.

Baekhyun sits on the foot of the bed and looks at him, resisting the impulse to worry that something bad is happening. "I'm not too drunk to talk," he says bluntly. "Talk to me."

Jongdae softens, which makes Baekhyun feel a little better. "Sorry, I'm being ridiculous. It's just, I don't want to push you too far. Things are great, and I don't know if I'm making a mistake wanting more, even if it won't really change anything. And the last time, you know, I guess you never get over something like that so much that it doesn't haunt you sometimes..."

Baekhyun feels like he should understand what Jongdae is getting at, but he's still buzzed and it's a little too vague to make sense. He's debating whether he should offer some general reassurance or just ask what the hell Jongdae is trying to say when Jongdae makes an exasperated noise. 

"Fine. I already made up my mind. It's stupid to second guess it now." Jongdae reaches into his back pocket and pulls out what looks like a scrap of black fabric. Then he pulls at it and Baekhyun realizes it's a pouch. Suddenly, he thinks he understands what Jongdae was trying to say and why he was so afraid to say it, and the thought makes him feel panicked and excited at the same time.

Sure enough, Jongdae sticks his thumb and forefinger into the pouch and pulls out a ring. It's a silver band with an engraving on it that he can't see clearly at a distance. Ring in hand, Jongdae slowly looks up to meet Baekhyun's eyes, looking scared but also determined. 

"I was waiting for the perfect time all day, but it doesn't have to be perfect. I know I don't have to be perfect for you to love me. What I'm trying to say is...maybe marriage is still a scary amount of commitment for you, and I have reasons to be scared of it too, but I love you, and this is my way of saying that I want to spend the next five years of my life with you too, and many more years after that. I'm asking you to say the same. Please marry me."

A lot of thoughts run through Baekhyun's head as Jongdae gives his speech. He's touched, and yes, he's scared, but he's also happy at the same time. Maybe this isn't the way Jongdae wanted to ask him, but it's so raw and honest that it's better in a way, because it makes Baekhyun realize that he doesn't have to be perfectly sure about marriage. He just has to be sure he loves Jongdae and wants to continue being with him, and that he can do.

He gets to his feet and takes Jongdae's wrists to pull him up. Baekhyun's naked and he realizes he missed a spot of come on his stomach, but none of that matters. He meets Jongdae's eyes and smiles so he knows he can stop worrying. "First of all, yes. Let's get that out of the way."

Jongdae bursts out laughing, probably as much from relief as because it's funny, and Baekhyun's universe rights itself again. 

"Now that that's done...you're right that marriage sounds scary to me, and if you hadn't asked, I probably wouldn't have ever thought about it. But I love you and I want to be with you, so...sure. Let's do it."

He holds out his hand and Jongdae puts the ring on it. Looking up close, Baekhyun realizes that the engraving is waves running all around the ring, which makes him smile. "We'll get you one too, so we can match," he says, squeezing Jongdae's hand.

Jongdae nods but doesn't say anything before he cups Baekhyun's cheeks and kisses him. It's a soft kiss, and Jongdae is beaming when he pulls away. Baekhyun is too, he realizes, and he throws his arms around Jongdae as a way to express how happy he is. "Happy birthday! I hope you don't expect to ever get a better present than me."

Jongdae laughs hard without letting go, his body shaking with mirth in Baekhyun's arms. "I don't think I ever will," he agrees.


	12. A Few Days 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is an outtake for [A Few Days](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1831561), the first of probably 4 drabbles in a Xiuhan arc set ~5 years after the original fic. You could read this one as generic high school AU Xiuhan, but it will make more sense in context, and the later drabbles will be more connected to the original fic. 
> 
> There are also references to [this previous outtake](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19288237/chapters/45969835) so I advise reading that first.
> 
> Minseok approaches the awkward new boy in his class, remembering what it was like to be in his place, and finds himself making a very good friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** extremely brief and vague references to past bullying and to homophobia

There's a new boy in Minseok's class when he starts his second year of high school. That's interesting because many of them have known each other since middle school or even elementary school, plus he's from China, introducing himself as Lu Han in that singsong way Chinese sounds. Minseok's not one for approaching strangers, but he watches a couple of boys and quite a few of the girls try to strike up conversations with him at lunch. (Go figure the girls are interested in a good-looking new boy.) Lu Han seems to get flustered easily and struggle to communicate, and none of the attempts last long. In the end, he eats his lunch alone.

No one even tries to approach him the second day, and by the third, Minseok can't just watch anymore. He still remembers what it was like to be the new kid in an unfamiliar environment, feeling out of place and worrying that it would always be that way. He's very grateful to the boys who finally reached out and included him, and he feels like he has to pay it forward now.

He gets up from where he's sitting with his friends and walks over to Lu Han's desk, offering a tentative, "Hi."

Lu Han looks up, startled, then smiles hesitantly. "Hello," he responds, very quietly.

"Why don't you join us?" Minseok gestures toward his friends, who look confused by his uncharacteristically outgoing behavior.

"Is it okay?" Lu Han's Korean pronunciation is actually pretty good, Minseok notices, but he sounds so nervous.

"Sure." Minseok gives what he hopes is a reassuring smile. "It's no fun to eat alone, right?"

"Thanks," Lu Han mumbles. He scoots his desk over and nods a greeting to the others. They still look kind of confused by the whole thing but introduce themselves politely before going back to their usual lunchtime conversation. Lu Han looks relieved to not have to talk more—which Minseok can understand, really, and he doesn't have the language excuse.

Lu Han sits with them for the rest of the week, and although he still doesn't talk much, he at least loosens up enough to laugh at jokes. He looks funny when he laughs, and they tease him about it, but not cruelly, and it doesn't seem like he minds.

It's not until the following Tuesday that Lu Han catches Minseok alone as they leave at the end of the day. "Hey, I, um, I wanted to say thank you. For, you know, inviting me to sit with you." He looks embarrassed, unable to meet Minseok's eyes, but his words are sincere.

"Don't mention it." Minseok could just leave it at that, but he finds himself saying, "I was in your place once. Worse, actually. I didn't fit in at all, and people weren't very nice about it." The bullying didn't last long, thankfully, but it's still an unpleasant memory.

"Really?" Now Lu Han looks at Minseok, surprised.

"It was a while ago, back in elementary school. But I couldn't let you be stuck like that. And you know, the guys who gave me a chance back then are still my friends now. I hope we can be friends too." He's saying it to be polite, mostly, but Lu Han seems nice so far, and he definitely wouldn't mind making a new friend.

In any case, his words make Lu Han smile widely. "I hope so too."

 

Minseok does well enough in school these days, though he'll never be a top student, but he's still struggling with English. He keeps quiet about it as much as he can, self-conscious, but Lu Han admits over lunch one day that he's not good at math, and somehow Minseok finds himself asking, "Do you want to study together? We can help each other." Minseok's pretty good at math, and Lu Han is some kind of foreign language whiz (at least in comparison to Minseok).

They've only known each other for about a month, and this will be their first time doing anything together, just the two of them, but Lu Han beams and says without hesitation, "That would be great!"

Jongin's already home when Minseok and Lu Han arrive, sitting at the kitchen table, and he looks curiously at them. Minseok doesn't bring friends over often, not for any particular reason, but because his friends prefer to do things outside, and one of them has a big house that's good for the times they don't. "Hi, hyung," Jongin says, getting up and nodding a greeting to Lu Han.

Minseok introduces them, and Lu Han mumbles, "Nice to meet you," suddenly shy again even though he talked easily with Minseok on the way over. It makes Minseok smile, his eleven-year-old brother making Lu Han feel shy.

Once they're safely in Minseok's room, Lu Han asks, "You said you have two brothers, right?"

"Yeah. Jongdae will be home later. He's doing some singing thing after school for a few weeks."

"Oh, cool. And both your parents work?"

"It's just us and our dad." It's not a secret—all of Minseok's other school friends know that he's adopted, with just one parent at home—but not something he goes out of his way to bring up either, so he hasn't mentioned it to Lu Han yet. He doesn't elaborate now either; the rest of the story will come out soon enough, if they spend more time together.

Even if it's not a secret, talking about it still makes Minseok a little nervous, so he's relieved when Lu Han only says "Oh, okay. That's cool," with no apparent judgment.

Minseok doesn't know what to expect from studying with Lu Han, but they do well together, quietly working through their assignments and discussing things when one of them has trouble. Lu Han's occasionally fumbling Korean doesn't stop him from explaining things clearly, and it's satisfying for Minseok to be able to help in return, actually feeling smart for a change.

Jongdae pokes his head in when he comes home, greeting them, "Hi, hyung! Hi, hyung's friend! I'm Jongdae!"

His enthusiasm startles Lu Han, making Minseok laugh. "Don't mind Jongdae," he says. "He's just like that."

Lu Han leaves soon after to have dinner with his parents, but since their studying went well, they plan to make it a regular event. The third time he comes over, they're still studying when Junmyeon comes home. He calls out a cheerful "Hello!" and Minseok ignores him, in the middle of explaining a math problem to Lu Han. Only when he pokes his head in the cracked-open door does Minseok break off. "Hello," Junmyeon repeats. "You must be Lu Han."

"Hello," Lu Han says, shy again.

"Lu Han, this is my dad," Minseok tells him. Once upon a time, Minseok would have hedged, saying "adopted dad," or even introduced him by name, but it's been a year or two already since he finally stopped that. (Jongin and Jongdae switched over to "dad" quickly, but Minseok needed more time to adjust.)

"It's nice to meet you," Junmyeon says. "You're welcome to join us for dinner if you like." To Minseok, he adds, "I brought food, so we're ready to eat when you are."

"Just give us a minute." After he's gone, Minseok tells Lu Han, "You don't have to stay, but you can if you want." He's not sure he wants to subject Lu Han to a family dinner, but it's bound to happen sooner or later. Besides, even if Junmyeon is kind of embarrassing, Minseok likes his family. He's finding as they spend more time together that he likes Lu Han too. It would be nice for them to get to know each other.

"If you don't mind?" Lu Han smiles hesitantly. "I just need to tell my parents."

Minseok doesn't know what to expect from dinner, but he finds it fun. The conversation flows steadily and no one grills Lu Han too hard. Lu Han talks a lot less in groups than when it's just him and Minseok, but he listens enthusiastically and laughs, even at Junmyeon's dumb jokes that no one but Minseok usually appreciates. (It's possible he's just being polite, though, or laughing at _him_ rather than at the jokes.)

"Your dad is nice," Lu Han says when Minseok walks him out after dinner. "Your brothers too."

"Thank you," Minseok answers automatically. Then he immediately feels silly; it wasn't a compliment to him.

Lu Han doesn't laugh, only smiles and says, "See you tomorrow."

 

They continue studying together as a month passes and then two. They don't really need to do it so much, but Minseok finds he likes spending time with Lu Han, even if they spend a lot of it bent over their books, not talking. Lu Han stays over for dinner a few more times, getting to know Minseok's family better. They play a bit of soccer now and then once the weather warms up. (Lu Han says he was on his high school team in China, and Minseok reluctantly admits that he had to quit after middle school when he couldn't keep up with his studies.) Lu Han even comes over on a Sunday, and they study for a while and then go out to karaoke for a few hours.

"Did you have fun with your new best friend?" Jongdae asks when he comes home.

"He's not my best friend," Minseok mutters. It's a stupid comment to get flustered by, but he does because it makes him realize that he _has_ gotten close to Lu Han. Minseok's usually slow to warm up to people, so it's surprising that Lu Han has won him over so quickly. He's just a lot of fun to be around, and even though he and Minseok are quite different in some ways, they have a lot in common, making it feel comfortable to be together.

He thinks about that the next time Lu Han comes over, which makes him look up in the middle of trying to translate an English sentence to find Lu Han staring at him. "What?" he asks, immediately embarrassed, never mind that Lu Han was the one staring.

Lu Han jumps, then smiles sheepishly. "Nothing, just..." He turns and stares in a different direction, which Minseok assumes means he was just spacing out.

Minseok makes himself focus on studying, but he keeps thinking about Lu Han at other times, during lunch when they sit together with all their friends and Lu Han's enthusiastic laugh makes him smile, or during class when he catches Lu Han's profile out of the corner of his eye when he's supposed to be listening to the teacher. (It's really unfair for any person to be as good looking as Lu Han is, even if his unflattering facial expressions balance it out a little.) He thinks about how nice Lu Han's singing voice is when they go out to karaoke again, and about how encouraging Lu Han is when he struggles to understand something when they study together.

But even thinking about all those things, he's still caught completely off guard a few weeks later when they're the only ones home for once and suddenly, in the middle of Minseok explaining a math problem, Lu Han leans forward and kisses him. For a long moment that seems to stretch out forever, they're frozen like that, and then Lu Han sits back and looks at Minseok. His eyes are wide but hopeful at the same time, and he doesn't try to take it back.

Minseok presses his lips together and swallows hard as he realizes why he's been thinking about Lu Han so much, and that he wouldn't mind kissing Lu Han again. Those are scary things to realize because he's never dated and only kissed one person before (a girl in his class two years ago, once and never again), and because he's heard the kinds of things people say about boys who kiss other boys, but that fear isn't enough to make him change his mind.

"Hey, Minseok, I..." Lu Han starts.

When he hesitates, Minseok cuts in, "Kiss me again."

Lu Han's eyes go wide again, but then he grins, his whole face lighting up, and hurries to do just that. His lips are soft and warm and the kiss sends a thrill through Minseok that's less about how it feels than about understanding that he likes Lu Han and Lu Han likes him, and that they're going to let this grow into something more.

When they break apart, Lu Han looks so happy it's kind of embarrassing. "Stop smiling like that," Minseok grumbles.

Lu Han's expression turns a bit sheepish, but his smile barely fades. "I'm just happy. I convinced myself you were going to reject me, and probably tell your friends about it and then everyone would hate me."

"I wouldn't do that!" Minseok protests.

"I know." Lu Han laughs awkwardly. "I got a little carried away." More seriously, he adds, "So, are we...?"

"Yes," Minseok answers without needing to know the exact question. "We are." He gets up and catches Lu Han in a hug, and as Lu Han's arms wrap around him, he thinks that he can't wait to see where this will go.


	13. A Few Days 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is an outtake for [A Few Days](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1831561), building on [this previous outtake](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19288237/chapters/46944112) (and to a lesser extent [this one](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19288237/chapters/45969835)). Expect 2 more drabbles in this future Xiuhan arc.
> 
> This includes a discussion that basically spoils the entire original fic, so you should definitely read that first.
> 
>  
> 
> In which Jongdae opens his big mouth, Lu Han finds out more about Minseok and his family, and Minseok finds himself uncharacteristically opening up to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** one general sentence about abusive parents

Lu Han doesn't really mind when Minseok gets dragged away by Jongin as soon as they arrive to solve some kind of crisis he doesn't really understand. He's happy for an excuse to put off studying for a little longer. He's a little less happy, however, about the part where this leaves him alone in the living room with Jongdae. He likes both of Minseok's brothers, and most of the time Jongdae is really nice, but sometimes he gets this smile on his face like he knows all of Lu Han's secrets and it makes him nervous. He's pretty sure Jongdae is just playing with him with that look, trying to make him squirm, but not sure enough for it to not work.

"Jongin's such a kid sometimes," Jongdae comments. "Not that I can talk, I guess, but hyung seemed so grown up at that age, always taking care of us. Jongin's really different." Then he laughs. "Though I bet in a few years he'll at least _look_ a lot more grown up than us. Hyung and I were a lot smaller at ten. I guess Jongin must take after his dad."

Lu Han was smiling at everything Jongdae said up to that point, imagining a younger, tinier Minseok fussing over his brothers like he does now, but that brings him up short. " _His_ dad? Not your dad?"

Jongdae looks confused for a few seconds. Then he gives a sheepish grimace but answers casually, "Oh, I thought you knew. We all have different dads."

That only makes Lu Han understand even less. "Then whose dad is, you know, your dad?" He gestures vaguely in the direction of the kitchen as if that will clarify that he means the man he thought was Jongin, Jongdae and Minseok's father.

"None of us." Jongdae studies him for a moment. "Minseok-hyung didn't tell you? That we're adopted?"

Lu Han shakes his head mutely. It shouldn't be such a huge shock, but that seems like a big thing for him not to know after spending all this time with Minseok, and even with his family. It does explain some little comments from Minseok and his friends that Lu Han was confused about, but he thought it was just him misunderstanding their words or something about Korean culture, not completely misunderstanding Minseok's family situation.

"It's not a big secret or anything," Jongdae continues. "Hyung just doesn't bring it up much. Don't take it personally."

"When was it?" Lu Han asks to distract himself from pointless hurt feelings. He'll get over them soon enough, once the shock passes.

"Dad didn't adopt us right away, but he took us in about six years ago." Jongdae smiles, not that creepy knowing grin but a sympathetic smile. Before he can continue, Minseok and Jongin emerge from Jongin's room, so Jongdae says, "I'll let Minseok-hyung tell you about it."

"Tell him about what?" Jongin asks.

"Nothing," Jongdae says.

Minseok ignores Jongin's whining in response to say, "Come on, Lu Han." He goes into his room, and Lu Han follows him, closing the door. "What was that about?"

"Oh, uh...Jongdae said something about you guys having different dads. And I was confused, so he explained that you're adopted..."

Minseok smiles awkwardly, looking a bit guilty. "I'm sorry you had to find out like that. I wasn't keeping it a secret, but I usually just wait to tell people until it comes up. It's weird to just suddenly go, 'By the way, you already thought my family was weird because I have a single dad, but actually, I'm also adopted and my brothers are really half-brothers.'"

Lu Han's hurt feelings start to dissipate with Minseok's explanation. He can understand that, and besides, they haven't known each other for that long yet. "It's okay."

"Anyway, yeah, Dad took us in six years ago, when I was ten. He officially adopted us about two years after that."

"And before that?" Lu Han asks uncertainly. He's curious, but he also realizes that if they were adopted, that probably means their parents are dead.

"It was just us and our mom before," Minseok explains. "My dad died when I was a baby, and Jongin and Jongdae's dads weren't in the picture." He pauses, complicated emotions that Lu Han can't interpret flickering over his face, but his tone is light when he continues, "Our mom had a hard time taking care of us. I had to help out a lot, especially with looking after Jongin. She tried her best, but things got really bad, and...I still don't know why, but one night she just told us to wait in front of a door in an apartment building and said she'd be back. That turned out to be Dad's door, and since she never came back, he took us in."

Lu Han doesn't respond immediately, taking it all in, so Minseok continues, "If you remember, I told you I talked to you because I knew what it was like to be the new kid at school and not fit in. It was back then, when we first started staying with Dad. I was really behind in school, and I didn't even know how to be a kid, since I was so used to having to be responsible and not depend on adults. It got better, and obviously I'm fine now, but it was a real adjustment at first."

Hearing all of this is a shock too, in a different way. Lu Han's led a comfortable life with two parents who love him and have provided whatever he needs. He can't even imagine what Minseok's life was like with a mother who couldn't handle being a parent, who didn't let him be a kid and finally abandoned him on a stranger's doorstep. "I'm sorry." That doesn't feel like the right thing to say, but what is? "That must have been really hard."

Minseok smiles like he knows everything Lu Han is thinking. "You know, it probably sounds to you like I've had a terrible life, but I actually feel lucky."

"Lucky?" Lu Han doesn't mean for that to come out sounding as incredulous as it does, but it's hard to believe that Minseok could possibly feel lucky after what he just told Lu Han of his past.

"Yeah. We lived in a lot of different places with Mom, and met a lot of different people. I saw some parents who would hit their kids or yell horrible things at them or just ignore them because they wished they never had kids. Mom...I know that some of the things she did weren't right, like expecting me to take care of my brothers when I was still a little kid myself, but she really did try. She made sure we always knew she loved us. And I had my brothers too, and...going through a lot of shit together makes you really close."

Lu Han laughs at that, though he's still trying to process the rest of what Minseok said. It makes a lot of sense, but it's still so far out of his experience that it's hard to understand.

"And when Mom left us," Minseok continues after a moment, "that was really hard, but we got so lucky that she left us in front of Dad's door. I don't even know why she chose it—I don't think she knew him—but because of that we got to stay together instead of getting split up with different families, since most people won't take three kids. And..." His expression turns fond. "I know I complain about Dad sometimes, but he's been really good to us. He put up with a lot over the years, especially early on, and he's really helped us just, you know, be regular kids."

Minseok's faraway expression transforms into another smile, this one a little shy. "Sorry for getting all cheesy on you. I've never actually said that to anyone."

"It's okay," Lu Han assures him. He likes that, actually, Minseok opening up to him in a way he hasn't with anyone else.

"What I'm saying is, you don't have to feel bad for me. Some things were hard, and...maybe some things will always be hard, but I'm happy now."

Lu Han still doesn't get it, but Minseok's smile looks entirely genuine, and he's just happy that Minseok's happy. Whatever difficult things he's been through, that's all that matters now.


	14. A Few Days 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is an outtake for [A Few Days](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1831561), building on [these two](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19288237/chapters/46944112) [previous outtakes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19288237/chapters/47047222) (and to a lesser extent [this one](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19288237/chapters/45969835)). Expect one more drabble in this arc.
> 
>  
> 
> Minseok is happy dating Lu Han, but some things are not so easy. And Jongdae, as usual, sees and understands too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** hypothetical homophobia and related angst

In many ways, dating Lu Han is great. Before, Minseok thought he just wasn't interested in dating yet. That was partly true, but in large part, he just wasn't interested in dating _girls_ yet, or possibly ever. That's a scary thing to think about, because Minseok knows how the world works, but he tries to focus on just enjoying being with Lu Han. Nobody else needs to know, and if they don't know, there's nothing to worry about.

They don't have the time or privacy to do much anyway, but they keep studying together and going out occasionally on what are now dates instead of just two friends hanging out. Every once in a while if they're home alone (which is rare since Lu Han's mom doesn't work and Jongin is always underfoot), there might be some kissing or cuddling, never much, but enough to convince Minseok that he definitely likes being with Lu Han like this.

They've been together approaching four months when Jongdae knocks on his cracked open door one night after Lu Han leaves. "Can I come in?" 

It's not like Jongdae to ask, at least not when the door is open. That makes Minseok a little wary, but he still says, "Okay."

Jongdae closes the door behind himself, which makes Minseok warier still. He doesn't know what he expects, but it's not for Jongdae to say, "You and Lu Han-hyung really get along well, huh?"

"Yeah..." It's obvious Jongdae's getting at something, but Minseok doesn't know what. He's afraid it means that Jongdae knows; he always was good at reading Minseok.

Sure enough, Jongdae continues, "You know I love you no matter what, right, hyung?" Jongdae gets sappy like this every now and then, and usually it just embarrasses Minseok, but right now, it makes him nervous. He can guess what Jongdae is getting at, even before he continues, "So you can talk to me, you know, about anything."

The pointed way Jongdae is looking at him erases any doubts Minseok might have that he knows. It scares him, but it's also kind of a relief. At least there's one person who won't judge him for dating Lu Han—not that he should have ever worried about Jongdae. "You won't tell?" he asks.

"Of course not," Jongdae says. "It's nobody's business." He laughs shortly. "I say that while I'm butting into your business."

Minseok has to smile at that. "I don't mind, occasionally." He has to brace himself to say it, even though Jongdae already knows. "Lu Han and I are...together. For almost four months now."

"Wow, that's practically forever in high school." That startles a laugh out of Minseok, which helps him breathe easier. "For a while I thought I was seeing things and you were just really good friends, and then I thought maybe he just looks at all his friends like that, but then you started showing it and I knew." Minseok's eyes go wide, but before he can probably panic, Jongdae assures him, "It's not that obvious. I just know you well."

That makes Minseok feel better. He and Jongdae aren't close in quite the same way they were when they were little and had no one else, but he still knows Minseok better than anyone else.

"Are you ever going to tell anyone?" Jongdae asks. "No pressure, just wondering if you would have waited forever if I hadn't asked you."

Minseok grimaces. "You never know if people are going to get weird about it. It's not like anyone has to know, do they?"

"I'd tell you if I was dating someone," Jongdae says. "I'd probably tell Jongin too."

"You're too young to be talking about dating!" Minseok protests, making Jongdae laugh.

"I'm thirteen, hyung. You better get used to the idea." Then, more seriously, "I'd tell Dad too. Maybe not right away, but after four months..."

Every time Minseok starts to feel relaxed, Jongdae says something that makes him anxious again. It's not fair that it can't just be as simple as wanting to be with Lu Han and doing it. "Would you tell him if you were dating a guy?" he asks. Jongdae is standing close enough that he doubts anyone can hear them with the door closed, but he lowers his voice anyway.

Jongdae shrugs. "I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to date a guy, so I don't know. But do you really think Dad would care?"

The nervous tension settles into Minseok's chest. "You don't think so?"

"No," Jongdae answers immediately. "Do you really think the guy who took in three kids off the street and put up with all of our issues would care that you have a boyfriend?"

Minseok has been trying so hard to shove down all the thoughts he's had about this, but at Jongdae's prodding, they spill out. "I don't want him to regret it," he blurts out before he can think better of it.

"Regret what?" Jongdae asks.

"Regret...us." Minseok already wishes he hadn't said anything, looking down to avoid seeing Jongdae's reaction.

"He...you can't really believe he would, hyung. Not because of something like this."

"I don't know," Minseok says miserably. "Some people really can't stand when someone's...you know. Even real parents kick their kids out over it sometimes."

Jongdae doesn't say anything, so Minseok reluctantly looks up. There's sympathy in Jongdae's eyes, but also pity, and he hates that. "Look, hyung," he says slowly, sounding more uncertain now. "I know that it was harder for you to accept Dad taking us in than it was for me and Jongin. To accept that we had a place here, I mean, pemanently, and that he wasn't just going to let us down eventually. But don't you believe that now? That he's not going to change his mind or give up on you because of who you're dating?"

Minseok wants to believe that, and most of him does, but there's a small part that's too scared to risk it. He's had six years of stability here, six years of being able to be a normal kid without worrying about having a place to live or where his next meal was coming from or how to take care of two little kids when he was barely old enough to take care of himself. Better to keep this secret than to risk ending up on the street again all alone, not to mention losing the only parent who has never disappointed him.

"I can't." His voice sounds small and scared, but Jongdae doesn't tease him, only looks at him sadly.

"For what it's worth, I don't believe for a second that he wouldn't accept you," Jongdae says quietly. "But if you don't want to tell, I'll keep your secret."

"Thank you." Minseok still feels anxious and sad and a lot of other things, but he's glad at least to be able to count on his brother. And he has Lu Han, too, whether anyone else knows about it or not. That has to be enough.


	15. A Few Days 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another outtake for [A Few Days](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1831561), building on [these three](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19288237/chapters/46944112) [previous](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19288237/chapters/47047222) [outtakes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19288237/chapters/47394700) (and to a lesser extent [this one](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19288237/chapters/45969835)). I said there was only going to be one more in this arc, but then I added this for a bit more Xiuhan interaction, so there's still one left.
> 
>  
> 
> Lu Han may not understand the things Minseok has been through or how they've shaped him, but he does understand and care about Minseok.

There's a tiny park not far from home that Minseok takes Lu Han to sometimes, not because it's a particularly nice place, but because it's a chance to get away from Minseok's nosy brothers, and Junmyeon when he's home. It's not like they do anything there that they wouldn't do at home, considering that it's a public place, but it's a chance to talk where no one has any reason to listen to them, and to sit close together without anyone knowing that they're not just good friends.

Minseok wonders sometimes, admittedly, if they're as subtle as they think they are. It's not unusual for guy friends to touch, even as much as Lu Han touches him. They don't say anything that would give them away, he thinks, if anyone even bothered to eavesdrop. But maybe there's something a little suspicious about _how_ they touch, or maybe they say unintentionally revealing things, or maybe someone will notice when Lu Han gets that terribly fond look in his eyes. Maybe someone will see them for what they are and judge them for it.

Mostly, though, he manages to put that out of his mind and enjoy his time with Lu Han. Lu Han is easy to talk to, and he makes Minseok laugh, and he's definitely nice to look at too. It makes Minseok feel warm when Lu Han touches him and feel special when Lu Han smiles at him, and he's happy to get caught up in that and forget everything else.

He's thinking those kinds of thoughts one evening, during a lull in the conversation, and then about whether he should point out that it's almost dinner time, when suddenly Lu Han says, "I told my parents about you. I mean, about us." He seems nervous, but also immediately relieved, like he's been waiting the whole time they've been hanging out to say that and is glad to get it out.

It makes Minseok nervous too, though he tries to tell himself that it shouldn't. He's met Lu Han's parents and they liked him. Given how Lu Han doesn't seem upset, he assumes they took the news well and will continue to like him. And just because Lu Han decided to tell his parents doesn't mean Minseok has to tell Junmyeon. There's nothing to be nervous about. But his heartbeat still picks up, and he takes a deep breath trying to slow it down.

"I wasn't sure how they'd take it," Lu Han continues when Minseok doesn't respond, "but it was fine. I mean, they already knew, you know, that I'm..." There's no one around except one businessman striding quickly past, paying them no attention, but Lu Han leaves his sentence unfinished all the same. "But it was only in theory until now. And I know they're not thrilled about it, but they like you and they want me to be happy. And I am, you know. Happy. With you."

Minseok smiles at Lu Han's words despite his nerves. "Me too," he says. "I'm glad they were good about it."

Lu Han nods. Minseok hopes he'll leave it at that, but he's not surprised when Lu Han asks, "Are you going to tell your dad some time? No pressure or anything. Just wondering."

In spite of his words, Minseok can see hope in Lu Han's eyes. He's not sure why it matters to Lu Han if Minseok tells his own dad, but maybe it would make it feel like their relationship is more real, like he's more committed. He doesn't want to disappoint Lu Han, but it's so much more complicated for Minseok when no one except Jongdae knows he's gay, and his family situation is different from Lu Han's. He doesn't want to leave Lu Han hanging, but all he can find to say right now is, "I don't know."

Lu Han seems surprised at his answer. "Do you think he would take it badly? He seems so...nice."

"I don't know," Minseok repeats. He feels like he owes Lu Han an explanation, but no matter how he explains it, Lu Han won't understand his fears. Even Jongdae didn't understand, and he had the closest to the same childhood experiences as Minseok. There's no way Lu Han, with his comparatively simple life and two parents at home who have never let him down, will understand what it's like to be so afraid of losing everything.

"He didn't say anything, did he?" Lu Han asks. "To make you think he won't accept us?" Minseok shakes his head mutely. For an uncomfortably long moment, Lu Han just looks at him like he's trying to read the explanation on Minseok's face. Whatever he sees makes him turn sympathetic but no less confused. Finally, he says, "You don't have to tell him. I mean, of course you don't, but I won't push."

"Thank you." Minseok feels awkward about all of this, but he appreciates that Lu Han is trying, even if he doesn't get it.

"Minseok, I..." Lu Han looks around, but now there's no one in the park but them. "I told my parents because...I really like you. You're important to me and I wanted them to now that. I'm not saying this to make you feel like you have to tell your dad for me. I just want you to know that that's how I feel. That I hope we can be together for a long time." 

Lu Han laughs a little, the way he does when he feels awkward, but he looks resolute at the same time, determined to get his point across. Seeing that, Minseok thinks that maybe Lu Han can't really understand his feelings, but he does understand Minseok surprisingly well for the relatively short time they've known each other. He's trying to reassure Minseok, in his own way, that he's someone Minseok can count on.

Without thinking about it, he throws his arms around Lu Han, squeezing him in a brief but tight hug. When he pulls away, Lu Han is grinning. "Thank you," Minseok says again. "I...me too." Lu Han's smile widens, his eyes sparkling, and as complicated as things are, as much as his fears haven't gone away, in this moment, Minseok only feels happy.


	16. A Few Days 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another outtake for [A Few Days](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1831561), building on [these](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19288237/chapters/46944112) [four](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19288237/chapters/47047222) [previous](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19288237/chapters/47394700) [outtakes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19288237/chapters/47575657) (and to a lesser extent [this one](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19288237/chapters/45969835)). This is the final part of this little Xiuhan arc.
> 
>  
> 
>    
> Minseok has been trying to keep his relationship with Lu Han a secret, but that can't last forever...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** worrying about hypothetical homophobia and parental abandonment, actual offscreen homophobia

Junmyeon is in the middle of starting rice for dinner when his phone rings over on the kitchen table. "Jongin, see who it is!" he calls.

Jongin, sitting at the table, reaches over to grab the phone. "Oh, it's Minseok-hyung." Without waiting for Junmyeon to tell him, he answers it. "Hi, hyung. What's up? Yeah, he's here but he's busy. Do you want me to tell him something? What, why? Okay, fine. One second." Jongin stands up and holds the phone out to Junmyeon. "He says it's important."

Junmyeon's mind immediately starts racing, thinking of the worst possibilities. Minseok only went to get bubble tea from a nearby cafe with Lu Han, so there's no reason to think anything terrible happened, but then why would he be calling and saying it's important? He quickly dries his hands and takes the phone. "Hi, Minseok. What's wrong?"

There's a long enough pause for Junmyeon to be sure it's something serious. It must be, if Minseok is hesitant to tell him. "Can you come get me?"

"What do you mean?" The shop is within easy walking distance, and Minseok's plenty old enough to take care of himself. Why would he need Junmyeon to get him?

"The manager won't let us go unless you come. Please?" Minseok sounds nervous and very uncomfortable, and Junmyeon has no idea what's going on, but if Minseok needs him, he'll go.

"I'll be right there," he says.

He finds Minseok and Lu Han sitting at one of the tables with an angry man hovering over them. The cafe is otherwise deserted, unusual for a Sunday evening. As he gets closer, he realizes with a shock that they're injured. Minseok has what looks like the beginnings of a black eye, and Lu Han has a split lip and a bruise on his cheek. None of it seems serious, but it looks like they got in a fight. That's very out of character for Minseok, and he didn't think Lu Han was the type either.

"What happened?" he asks.

"You're the father?" the angry man, presumably the manager Minseok mentioned, asks.

"Yes," Junmyeon says. "What's going on?"

"These two older guys talked to them," the manager explains. "University students, probably. And then all of a sudden this one—" He gestures to Minseok. "—hits them and starts a brawl right in the middle of my cafe."

That's probably an exaggeration, considering the relatively minor injuries, but Minseok starting a fight is still cause to worry. They'll have to talk about this, but for now, Junmyeon says, "I'm very sorry. I hope there wasn't any damage."

"No, but they drove away all my customers." The manager waves his arm at the empty cafe.

"I'm very sorry," Junmyeon repeats. "I'll get them out of your way." The manager clearly wants to at least give him a lecture too, but Junmyeon doesn't give him a chance. "Come on, boys," he says.

The manager doesn't try to stop them as they hurry out, but he does call, "Don't you ever come back!" after them.

Junmyeon gets out of sight of the cafe before he stops walking and turns to the two boys. "Are you badly hurt?" Up close, he can see another bruise forming on Minseok's jaw and blood on his knuckles.

"We're fine." He's not surprised that Minseok won't meet his eyes. Lu Han bobs his head in an awkward apology before he looks down too.

"We'll discuss it at home," Junmyeon says gruffly. He doesn't want to get mad until he knows what happened, but it was one thing for Minseok to hit someone at age ten and another now that he's old enough to know better. Remembering that incident, though, it makes him wonder if the men said something Minseok couldn't let go. What could strangers do or say that would make Minseok angry enough to hit them?

Jongin and Jongdae are waiting on the couch when they come home, and they jump up at the sight of them. "Are you okay, hyung?" Jongdae asks at the same time as Jongin yelps, "What happened?"

Minseok doesn't answer, and Junmyeon only says, "Go get cleaned up and then we'll talk." Minseok and Lu Han go to the bathroom, and Junmyeon tells the other two, "Go to your room for a little while, okay? I need to talk to Minseok." He can see that Jongin wants to argue, worried as he is about his brother, but Jongdae steers him away. There's a knowing look on Jongdae's face; it's not surprising to Junmyeon that he knows what this is about, though it's not much comfort either.

He can hear Minseok and Lu Han talking quietly, but he waits as patiently as he can until they come back out to the living room, hovering uncertainly. "Tell me what happened. Did you really start the fight?"

"Yes." Minseok's voice is very small, and he almost seems scared, which doesn't make any sense to Junmyeon. He's never given Minseok reason to be scared of him.

"Why? Did they do something to you?"

Minseok doesn't answer, and Junmyeon sees him tense, definitely looking scared now. Junmyeon turns to Lu Han, hoping he might be more forthcoming, but he looks away. With a sigh, Junmyeon says, "Lu Han, I think you should go home."

"Okay." Lu Han sounds relieved, if anything, but then he hesitates, placing a comforting hand on Minseok's shoulder.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Minseok mumbles without looking at him.

"See you," Lu Han responds, then beats a hasty retreat.

Once they're alone, Junmyeon tries again. "Minseok, just talk to me. Why did you hit them?"

"They said something. To Lu Han." Minseok clenches his hands into fists, but Junmyeon thinks it's from fear rather than anger.

"What did they say that was worth hitting them for?" Junmyeon asks.

Minseok only shakes his head.

"Minseok, you have to tell me," Junmyeon presses. "We can't just ignore that you got in a fight."

Minseok keeps shaking his head, again and again, and it really worries Junmyeon to see how upset this is making him. Whatever happened, it's clearly more serious than a couple of bruises and getting kicked out of his favorite cafe.

"Just tell me, okay? I can't help if you won't talk to me."

Minseok gives a few more small shakes of his head and then whispers, "I can't."

Junmyeon is at a loss for what to do. Something is very wrong, but he can't force Minseok to talk to him, and even trying is clearly making him more upset. It seems like pushing will get him nowhere, so he reluctantly says, "Go get some rest before dinner. But we are going to have to talk about this sooner or later."

Minseok all but runs into his room, slamming the door in his haste. Junmyeon returns to his abandoned rice, mulling over how he can fix this. He's never seen Minseok like this, and while he is a teenager like any other, he's usually willing to talk to Junmyeon about his problems. That he's so unwilling to share anything about what happened is very concerning.

Jongin and Jongdae emerge from their bedroom and have a brief argument that Junmyeon can't hear clearly before Jongin comes into the kitchen alone, Jongdae presumably going to talk to Minseok. "I hate when Jongdae-hyung treats me like I'm too little to understand things," Jongin grumbles, but without much heat. He knows something is wrong that's more important than his hurt feelings.

Minseok begs off dinner, claiming a headache, and the rest of them have a subdued meal. They act like it's a normal night, but Minseok hides in his room and everything feels strained. Junmyeon's none the wiser by the time he goes to bed, and with his mind running over all the possible reasons for Minseok's behavior, it's a long time before he falls asleep.

 

Minseok is usually the first of the kids up in the morning, but he's slow today and it's Jongdae who sleepily emerges from his bedroom and pads into the kitchen. He keeps shooting glances at Junmyeon as he gets his breakfast, like he's expecting something, so Junmyeon figures he might as well go for it. When Jongdae sits down at the table, he asks, "Do you know what's going on with Minseok?"

"Yes," Jongdae answers, soft but without hesitation.

Junmyeon's not surprised when he doesn't voluntarily elaborate. "Will you tell me?"

Now Jongdae shakes his head. "I told hyung he should tell you, but I can't do it. Not this." He looks so somber, reminding Junmyeon unpleasantly of when he was a seven-year-old who'd already seen too much of how the world worked.

He wants to argue, but Jongdae is stubborn, and he won't betray Minseok's confidence unless he really feels like he has to. It's probably best, anyway, if Junmyeon hears it from Minseok directly. "I won't pry, then, but just tell me this: is he in trouble? I mean, is it something I need to worry about?"

Jongdae considers for a moment before concluding, "It's not like that. It's just..." He frowns. "I don't know how to explain it without telling you, but no. He'll be okay."

"Okay. Thank you." Junmyeon doesn't want to let it go, but that seems to be his only choice right now.

He thinks that's the end of the conversation, but after a good minute of quiet, Jongdae suddenly asks, "Dad? We're...yours now, right? Permanently?"

"What do you mean?" It's been years now since Junmyeon officially adopted the boys, so it's strange for Jongdae to suddenly be asking this. He can't make the connection to Minseok's situation, but there must be one.

"I mean, there's nothing that would make you give us up, right?" Jongdae often seems mature for his age, but his plaintive question makes him sound very young and uncertain.

Junmyeon wants nothing more than to run around the table and give him a hug, but he restrains himself. "Of course not," he says firmly. "I hope you all know that."

"I do." Jongdae smiles, just a little weakly. Then, sounding a little more certain, he adds, "Thanks, Dad."

Jongin comes out for breakfast, and Jongdae is already getting ready to leave by the time Minseok comes out, still in his pyjamas. Between the black eye and the bruise on his jaw, half his face is purple, and it looks like he hasn't slept much either. "Can I stay home today?" he asks, still not meeting Junmyeon's eyes.

Junmyeon really shouldn't let him off so easily considering that he started the fight, but he looks so miserable and Junmyeon's too soft-hearted to be a strict parent at times like this. "All right," he says, "but only today."

"Thank you," Minseok mumbles before going right back into his room.

Junmyeon goes to work as usual, because life doesn't stop for family crises like this, but he keeps thinking about Minseok home alone and how scared he looked last night, not to mention Jongdae asking if he would ever give them up. He can't figure out why Minseok would be worried about that now, after all these years, but he must be for Jongdae to ask out of the blue. When Junmyeon took the boys in, he wanted most of all for them to feel secure, for them to feel that they could count on him the way they hadn't been able to with other adults in their lives. He hates to think that that's changed, especially if it's because he's given Minseok some reason to doubt him.

By lunch time, all those thoughts are driving him to distraction, and at 2 p.m., he finally caves and asks to go home early, claiming that he has a terrible headache. His boss looks a bit suspicious but lets him go without a fight.

The living room is empty when he gets home, but Minseok's door is open and he looks in. Minseok is curled up on his bed with his phone and looks somewhat reluctantly up at him. "You're home early."

"Yes." Junmyeon ignores the implied question in favor of saying, "Can we talk?" He sees Minseok tense, so he adds, "Please. I know you don't want to, but I'm worried. Come out and let's talk."

He goes out to the kitchen and gets some water, waiting for Minseok to come to him. He's not entirely sure he will, but after a minute or two, he emerges, standing awkwardly in the living room. Junmyeon goes over to him and says, as gently as he can, "Whatever it is, just tell me. It's okay."

Like the night before, Minseok shakes his head, his shoulders hunching up protectively.

"I promise you, it's okay," Junmyeon continues. "There's nothing you can say that would make me stop loving you, except maybe if you killed someone. Probably not even then. Did you kill someone?"

Minseok can usually be counted on to laugh at Junmyeon's jokes, but he doesn't even react this time.

"You said those guys said something to Lu Han." Junmyeon doesn't want to push when Minseok is upset, but he thinks whatever Minseok's hiding, he'll feel a lot better with it out in the open. "What was it? Were they picking on him for something?"

"I _can't_." Minseok keeps shaking his head in small, jerky motions, and then Junmyeon realizes with shock that he's actually shaking, his whole body trembling.

He pulls Minseok into a hug, and Minseok lets him, though he's stiff in Junmyeon's arms. "What are you so afraid of?" Junmyeon's voice wavers, upset himself at seeing Minseok like this. "What do you think I'm going to do?"

Minseok's answer is so quiet and mumbled that it takes Junmyeon a moment to process the words: "You'll think it was a mistake, taking me in."

" _What_?" Junmyeon bursts out. He lets Minseok go so he can look at him, but Minseok's eyes are firmly fixed on the floor, his face impassive. "Why on earth would I think I made a mistake with you?"

"You won't want a son like me."

Junmyeon is still lost, though he feels like he should be making some connection here. "What do you mean 'like you,' Minseok? You're a wonderful son. Why wouldn't I want you?"

Minseok takes a deep, shaky breath and Junmyeon doesn't think he'll answer but then he says, "Those guys. They saw me and Lu Han. We weren't _doing_ anything, just...I don't know. But they saw something, and they knew. And they said that Lu Han...that I..."

The wheels spin in Junmyeon's head and finally it clicks. "Minseok, you and Lu Han, you're...dating?" Minseok's draws in a sharp breath that tells Junmyeon all he needs to know, and he's torn between relief that Minseok's secret isn't something bad and feeling awful that Minseok was so afraid to tell him. 

"Oh, Minseok." He goes for another hug, pulling Minseok against his chest. "How could you think you had to keep something like that from me?"

Minseok's face is buried against Junmyeon's shoulder so he can't see, but when he speaks, it sounds like he's crying. "Parents kick their kids out for it, and I'm not even your real son."

"Don't say that!" Junmyeon protests. He's starting to cry too; the kids all laugh at him for being a crybaby, but under the circumstances, he thinks it's understandable. "Just because we're not related by blood doesn't mean you're not my real son." It's too hard to keep talking, so he just holds Minseok tightly. Unlike Junmyeon, Minseok hardly ever cries, and it hurts that he is now, like this, but it'll be better once he gets it out.

Minseok's eyes are wet when they finally break apart, but he laughs when he sees Junmyeon's expression. "You always look so funny when you cry." It's such a relief to see him smiling that Junmyeon doesn't care that Minseok is laughing at him.

He wipes his eyes and waits until he thinks he can speak steadily to say, "I love you. When I adopted you, that was for keeps, so don't think it's ever going to change. And if you're gay—" Minseok flinches when he says the word, but only a little. "That doesn't make me love you any less," Junmyeon concludes.

"Thank you." Minseok still won't quite look him in the eye, but he's so much more relaxed than before, and Junmyeon knows they'll be okay.

"You don't have to thank me for that," he says. "Just don't hide things from me anymore, okay? And try not to punch anyone, whatever they say."

"I won't," Minseok assures him.

"And invite Lu Han over for dinner sometime soon."

" _Dad,_ " Minseok groans. "You're going to embarrass me, aren't you?"

Junmyeon laughs and wipes the last lingering tears from his eyes. "What kind of father would I be if I didn't?" Minseok rolls his eyes even as he smiles. 

Junmyeon knows that those men at the coffee shop won't be the last to be cruel to Minseok, and he hates that, especially when the world has already been hard enough on him, but he's determined to do whatever he can to keep Minseok smiling like this. He'll make sure that Minseok always knows he has a place in the world and people who love him no matter what. Maybe it won't always be easy, but Minseok is strong and resilient. Junmyeon has no doubt that he'll push through anything and find happiness.


	17. Stranger 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS FOR [Stranger](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7654567/chapters/17429125).   
> IF YOU HAVEN'T READ IT, TURN BACK NOW OR YOU'LL RUIN THE FIC FOR YOURSELF.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (See above re: spoilers.)
> 
> (Seriously, this outtake recaps the entire end of Stranger.)
> 
> (Summary after this also contains spoilers.)
> 
>  
> 
> This takes place right after the end of the fic. Minseok owes Lu Han explanations about a lot of things, and maybe it's good for him too to open up.
> 
> **Warnings:** discussion of past minor character death and deception

They have dinner in the dining hall that night with Baekhyun and Jongdae, who complain, blithely oblivious to everything that happened at the end of last year, about how much of their friend group "ditched them." Minseok makes the appropriate noises in response, and Lu Han keeps his mouth full of food so he doesn't have to lie that he doesn't know why Yixing and Amber are gone, or why Junmyeon's dad "overreacted" by keeping him in Korea after the car accident that didn't actually happen.

Minseok feels the emptiness at the table too, but he tries not to think too hard about it. This is how it's going to be now, and he's just glad to still have any friends left, and to be here himself. They'll all get used to the change eventually, even if only Minseok and Lu Han know why so many of their friends are gone. Minseok doesn't like hiding so much from Baekhyun and Jongdae, but they'll be much happier not knowing the truth of all of it.

Mostly, though, they talk about other things, and Minseok can almost forget that so much has changed since last year. He fields some questions from Baekhyun and Jongdae about his summer, but he doesn't have to lie about spending months on physical therapy, getting his leg back into shape, and they're tactful enough not to push much when he dodges questions about why he ignored all their messages or whether he and Lu Han talked at all. He expects Baekhyun will ask him more, sooner or later, but he'll worry about that when it happens. 

After dinner, Jongdae says he needs to finish unpacking, and Baekhyun looks at Minseok and Lu Han before declaring, "I'll keep you company. See you later, roomie."

Lu Han smiles wryly at Minseok as they walk off. "Baekhyun's always so subtle, isn't he?" Then, more seriously, "But I do want to talk more."

Minseok nods. He doesn't want to talk, not like that, but he owes Lu Han more of an explanation than he's given so far. Besides, it might feel good to be honest, fully honest, with one person in his life.

Lu Han takes his hand as they walk, slowing his usual quick pace to match Minseok's limp. Neither of them speaks until they're in Lu Han's room with the door closed. Lu Han gestures for Minseok to sit on the bed and he does, feeling relief at taking his weight off his bad leg. (Having a bad leg is also something that's going to take getting used to.)

Lu Han stays standing, watching Minseok stretch out. "How bad is it?" he asks. "Your leg. Junmyeon said you needed serious surgery, but he didn't know any details, and you didn't say much at dinner."

"It was...bad," Minseok admits. He pulls his pant leg up to show his knee. The bruising has long since faded, but the surgical scars still stand out, and it's obvious that it doesn't look normal, even after everything the surgeons did. "I got shot. One here." He taps his thigh, though that scar isn't visible now. "One here." He touches his chest, and Lu Han's eyes widen.

"How did you survive that?"

"Bulletproof vest. I got some nasty bruising, but no permanent damage."

Lu Han's eyes stay wide. "That's serious stuff. Bulletproof vests, like a soldier..."

Minseok has to smile a little. It feels ordinary to him, but of course it wouldn't to Lu Han. "I was involved in serious stuff. That's nothing."

Lu Han looks so overwhelmed Minseok is torn between laughing and feeling guilty. "I have a lot of questions about that, but we were talking about your knee..."

"Oh, yeah. The last bullet hit me here." He points just below his knee. "It shattered my kneecap and did a lot of other damage. I had a long reconstructive surgery, but they could only do so much."

"So it'll always be bad?" Lu Han asks, his lips falling into a pout.

"I should still improve," Minseok says. "The scars will fade, and I'm still doing physical therapy to get strength back. But I'll always limp to some degree. I don't know yet how much."

"Oh." Lu Han looks so sad, and it's sweet that he cares so much, but it makes Minseok uncomfortable for a lot of reasons.

He quickly pulls his pant leg back down. "It's okay. It's only because of this injury that I'm here."

That does nothing to make Lu Han look less sad, though some curiosity sneaks in. "Otherwise it would be back to work?" Minseok nods. "And what exactly is that work? You said you were a spy, but we're just a kids..."

Now Minseok hesitates. He had no choice but to tell Lu Han who he was after what he saw, but that's different than telling him the very well-kept secrets of the Student program.

"I won't tell anyone," Lu Han promises. "I didn't talk to anyone about it all summer, only Junmyeon since he knew already. I can keep a secret. I just want to understand."

"Okay," Minseok agrees with mixed reluctance and relief. "But understand that there will be consequences if anyone finds out that you know about this, and I don't mean from me." Lu Han looks nervous at that, but he still nods. "I am—I was what we call a Student. We were trained at a secret facility our whole lives and sent out to missions at eighteen. Until I came here, I'd spent my whole life there."

"They took you away from your parents?"

There's so much Lu Han has no idea about—but then, Minseok's student life is far out of the imagination of any normal person. "I don't have parents. Not really. I was genetically engineered."

This time, Lu Han's confusion isn't a failure of imagination. "You were what?" Trust him not to know scientific terminology unless it was part of first semester general chemistry.

"Genetically engineered," Minseok repeats in Mandarin. "It means that they modified my DNA so I would have certain characteristics. Then they implanted the resulting embryo in an unrelated surrogate, who gave birth to me."

Lu Han stares at him like he's grown another head. Minseok thinks he's shocked at hearing what he really is until Lu Han asks incredulously, "You speak Chinese?"

Minseok has to laugh. "I guess I should have mentioned that. I speak a lot of languages. Sorry for eavesdropping on you and Yixing last year." Lu Han grimaces but doesn't comment. "Should I continue in Chinese?"

Lu Han still looks a bit shell-shocked, but he says, in Chinese now, "That's better anyway, in case anyone can hear us."

"All right. Well, yes, all of us Students were genetically engineered and raised together from birth."

"What does that even mean?" Lu Han asks. "I get the genetic engineering part, but are we talking like X-men?" At Minseok's blank look in response to the reference, he smiles. "I guess I understand now why you were always so clueless about pop culture. I mean, do you have special abilities?"

"Not superhuman abilities, if that's what you mean. But, for example, we have photographic memories and a predisposition to high intelligence, good health and physical strength. A lot of what I can do is due to training for my entire life, since you can't program those things into DNA, but genetics set me up to do it well."

"What kind of things?" Lu Han asks, his shock giving way to curiosity.

Minseok considers what will impress Lu Han. "I speak nine languages. I'm trained in many different kinds of martial arts. I have training in field medicine and bomb disarmament. I know a lot more advanced science than anything we learned in chem."

That makes Lu Han laugh. "That explains a lot." Then, "Was it really strict?" "Is that why you were so..." He puts a grim expression on his face in imitation of Minseok. "—sometimes at the beginning?"

"Was I that bad?" Minseok asks wryly. Without waiting for an answer when he knows it's true, he says, "It was very strict. I lived and trained with other Students my age, but we were never friendly. We had a strict schedule and no days off. We ate the same boring food every day and spent all our time studying, exercising, and doing various activities to further our training."

He stops and watches as Lu Han nods slowly, like he's struggling to process all of that. "The more you say, the more I feel like I understand things I always wondered about. Like how you were always so into food, even when it was kind of crappy, or how you were so good about going to the gym every single day no matter what."

"Yeah." Minseok is very much a product of his upbringing, despite the ways the past year has changed him. He wonders how much more he'll change now that he's free of Student obligations forever, and how much he won't. "I had no idea what I was missing out on until I came here," he tells Lu Han. "I learned about the rest of the world, but I didn't understand it, and even if I did understand it intellectually...we were very repressed, you know? No emotions, no wants, no opinions. I couldn't understand any of those things."

"That's really sad," Lu Han says, frowning again.

Minseok can only shrug. "It made sense to me back then, why it was necessary. Now I don't know. But it's who I was, and it'll always be part of who I am."

"Well..." Lu Han smiles hesitantly. "I do like who you are, so I guess it's not all bad."

Minseok returns the smile. It means a lot that Lu Han still says that after everything he knows, and after everything Minseok did.

He'd be happy to leave the serious conversation there, but Lu Han's smile fades. "Minseok, there's one more thing I really wanted to ask. What happened last year?"

"I thought you heard from Junmyeon," Minseok hedges. This he particularly doesn't want to talk about.

"Junmyeon told me what he knew, but he said he was unconscious when you were hurt, and no one would tell him much about how he was rescued, or about Yixing or Amber or anything."

Minseok fights to keep himself from flinching at Amber's name. He'd hoped to avoid this topic, but of course, Lu Han's had all summer to wonder and he wants answers now. "You're better off not knowing," he tries, not really expecting it to work.

"Maybe so," Lu Han says quietly, "but I'll just imagine the worst if you don't tell me. Anyway, it might feel better for you to tell someone, won't it?"

Minseok is skeptical, but Lu Han obviously won't let it go, and maybe he owes him this explanation too. "You know about the organization that was after Junmyeon?" When Lu Han nods, Minseok continues, "Amber worked for them. Yixing worked for the Chinese government."

"Like you?" Lu Han asks.

"Not exactly. We never shared details, but he told me he was recruited at twelve."

"Wow," Lu Han says. "So you knew about him before that night, right?"

"Yes, I found out." He pauses, gathering his thoughts. "Do you remember the night Junmyeon blacked out and forgot about hooking up with a girl?"

"Yeah," Lu Han answers casually, but then he freezes. "Is that not what happened?"

"She wasn't just any girl," Minseok explains. "She worked for the same people as Amber. Yixing and I both realized and came after them. We drugged Junmyeon so he wouldn't see and took her out."

Lu Han is back to being shocked. "You killed her? Here?"

"No, but we knocked her out and sent her off with our handlers. So that's when I found out about Yixing, and we worked together after that. But that night at the end of the semester, we screwed up." Minseok grits his teeth, not liking to remember his failure. "I screwed up. Amber realized I was a spy and slipped something in my drink. I don't know if you remember, but I was really out of it that night."

"Yeah." Lu Han looks dazed, and it'll only get worse from here.

"I woke up in the middle of the night because Amber came to the door, and knocked Junmyeon out when he answered. It's a miracle I even woke up with what she gave me, but I did, and, well, you saw that part. I was too weak to stop her, so we had to go after her."

"But you looked half dead," Lu Han protests.

"I was, but it had to be done. And adrenaline does amazing things, you know." Minseok smiles, but Lu Han hardly seems to notice, caught up in the story. "We tracked them to a house—me, Heechul, and another Student who'd come to help the last few weeks, plus Yixing and his handler. Amber was there with Junmyeon and quite a few others. It was...there was a big firefight." 

Minseok braces himself. Lu Han doesn't need the details, so there's no use stalling. "I got to Amber alone at the end. She had Junmyeon tied up, unconscious, in a closed room. She shot me the second I opened the door, so I automatically shot back." He allows himself one deep breath before concluding, "She's the one who caused all my injuries. And I...I killed her."

For a few seconds that feel like forever, Lu Han stares at him like what he's saying is utterly incomprehensible. For all that Minseok's told him he was trained to fight, it's clear he hadn't thought through what that means until now. Finally, he swallows hard and says, his voice almost steady, "You did what you had to do. Right?"

"She would have killed me. Junmyeon too, maybe. And she wasn't the person we thought she was. But still..." Minseok knows he made the right choice, but that doesn't mean he doesn't care that he killed Amber. He thinks, now that he's not a Student anymore, that he _should_ care that he killed someone, especially someone he thought was his friend for a year, but that doesn't make it an easy thing to deal with.

Lu Han smiles weakly. He's been standing this whole time, but now, he comes and sits next to Minseok, not touching him (showing surprising restraint for Lu Han), but close enough that it offers some comfort. "I don't even pretend to understand how you feel. But you're alive and Junmyeon is safe because of what you did, so don't regret it. It's not your fault that Amber and her people put you in that position."

Minseok doesn't know exactly where he and Lu Han stand yet, but he reflexively scoots closer to him, and he can't say he's surprised when Lu Han's arm wraps around him. The old Minseok, the Student Minseok, would never have sought comfort like this, not from anyone, but now he can accept it and even admit that he needs it. He can't say he feels better about killing Amber, but he does feel just a little lighter now that it's not his secret alone to bear.

They sit in silence for a while, comfortable. Finally, Lu Han says, "Thank you for being honest with me. You don't have to tell me _everything_ , but I hope you won't lie to me anymore."

"I won't," Minseok assures him without hesitation. The prospect of being his unvarnished self with Lu Han is intimidating, but he finds he's looking forward to it.


End file.
